No love like hers (Jessie J)

Chapter 37: Face the past's ghost.

Jessie's POV

I think I hadn't spoken to Rose for about four days. It was like both of us wanted to, but somehow we just couldn't. Rose had made her demands clear and I was too messed up to do something with it. Rose had claimed the bedroom, so I spent my sleepless nights on the couch, wondering what she'd be dreaming about. I hadn't slept since that night we ended up both sobbing our hearts out on our own. My face looked horrible, my eyes were all puffy and dark circles had formed themselves underneath. I locked myself up in the studio every day and tried to avoid every possible contact with anyone. Rose had been going to work way earlier than normal every morning and returned home late. I had no clue what she did before and after her job, all I saw was her heading straight for the bedroom once she came home at night. We lived together like total strangers and that made my heart break in the most painful way. I realised I was the one who had to take things back in hands. I was the one who needed to make sure things went back to normal between us. But I was also the one who was stuck between want and need. I really wanted to get my girlfriend back, but I also needed to get my carreer on the rails. It felt like somewhere on the way I had lost the link between my mind and my heart. I just couldn't sort it out anymore.

--

Today was different. I was forced to come out and talk to people, because there was a meeting with the management planned. As I entered the building, I was immediately greeted by William who came walking toward me. God, I wasn't prepared on the fact he would be that fast today. I cursed myself for not having any sunglasses with me and fervently hoped he wouldn't notice my lack of sleep. When we were close enough to each other, William smiled his typical smile but it faded as quick as it had appeared as soon as he took a proper look at me. 

"Girl, you look awful!" I saw his jaw drop like he was facing a ghost and sighed irritatedly.

"Yeah, that's what you get when you don't sleep for nights in a row." My voice sounded exhausted, so I guessed it matched my face perfectly. William furrowed his eyebrows and a concerned look took control of him. He laid his hand on my back and bit his lip thoughtfully.

"Are you alright, Jessie?" He sounded so fatherly which made my walls break down and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. 

"No, I'm not..." I admitted in a cracking voice. "I feel like shit."

Before I knew what was happening I got pulled into a hug and my hair got padded in an attempt to sush me. I broke down in sobbing when I felt those strong arms wrapped around my small body. I hadn't been hugged by a man in ages and it made me think of my father. When I was little he used to sush me like this all the time. I regretted how we had lost our bond. But the fact was that my parents's love hadn't been unconditionally. After a while I softly pushed William away and tried to force a smile at him.

"Thanks for that", I said almost without making a sound. "I guess I could use it." William smiled back but I could see the concerned look wasn't about to leave his face. 

"Maybe you should go brush yourself up a bit. I think they're not gonna like seeing you like this." 

I simply nodded and made my way to the toilets. Once there I splashed some water into my face and let it drip off while staring at myself in the mirror. I looked like trash. All I wanted to do right now was hide myself under a bunge of blankets and sleep for ages. How was I ever gonna survive this day? I was worth nothing.

 ---

When I entered the meetingroom, I saw William standing next to a pretty lady. She was middle-aged and was dressed in a classy dress. Wondering who she'd be, I wanted to walk their way, but stopped myself as soon as I heard my name drop. They were obviously talking about me. I quickly stepped out of their view and tried to listen carefully. They clearly hadn't noticed me, as they just continued talking.