No love like hers (Jessie J)

Chapter 52: Fight for your life.

Rose's POV

My eyes felt like there was an extreme pressure on them. It shot through my skull, all the way to the back, my neck and shoulders. I didn't know if it was from the lack of sleep or the crying that had lasted until not a single tear was left. It felt like every piece of life had been sucked out of me. My body was still numb, but that didn't prevent me from feeling the horrible emptiness inside. I couldn't describe it, but saying it felt like someone had ripped my heart out and didn't stitch my chest again, must be very close. I managed to turn my head a little to the left and saw Holly sitting on the chair next to me. Somewhere in the night she had dozed off. Something that was impossible for me. I was too afraid something would happen while I'd be asleep. And it's not that I would be able to even catch some sleep at all, 'cause everytime I closed my eyes, I could see the whole thing happening over and over again. It was there, right in front of me, just a blink away.

 It had all gone so fast once the paramedics had succeeded in dragging me away from Jessie. Everything had become a blur and before I realised it well I was sat on a chair in the hospital. Not knowing anything about her condition and what they were going to do. Holly had attempted several times to calm me down, but eventually she had started freaking out herself. It took more than three hours before a doctor showed up. And when he was finally there, we still got kept in the dark.

"She's alive", were the only words that came from his mouth. "She's alive, but that's all I can tell you for now." And then he was gone again. I had been too shocked to answer anything. I couldn't even react on the fact they still hadn't informed us properly. The only thing crossing my mind was the realisation that Jessie wasn't dead. She was breathing, her heart was beating, and I knew that was all I had wished for. 

-----------------------------------

Holly handed me a cup of coffee and sat down on her chair again, sipping on her own. I never drank coffee, but I realised that anything that could possibly keep me awake was welcome right now. So we sat there in silence, sipping from our cups, staring into the distance. It was morning by now but nothing had changed yet. We still hadn't heard any news from the doctors and not even one single person had come by to check if we were okay. 

"What kind of hospital is this", Holly muttered with her nose in her cup. I simply shrugged my shoulders and let the hot stuff fload to my stomach. I heard her mumble something else but the words didn't reach my brain. I didn't care about nobody coming to check on us. I wasn't ready for questions like "how are you feeling" or "is there anything I can do for you". All I wanted to know was if the girl who was fighting for her life somewhere in this building, was gonna make it into another day. Not knowing anything about what her actual state was right now, was making me slowy dying. 

"I just want to see her", I suddenly heard myself say. Holly's face turned to me and for a split second it didn't show any emotion at all. Then out of nowhere tears were streaming down her face. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to me. 

"I'm so scared, Rose", I heard her stutter. "I'm so scared we're never gonna get her back."

The normal me would've cried along. But I couldn't. It was like my emotions were still dried out from the other day. I just padded Holly's arm and shushed her, not knowing what else to do. I could feel her body shock against my chest and my shirt got wetted by someone else's tears this time.

"I'm scared too", I managed to whisper after a while. "I've never been any more scared in my whole life as I am right now. But we may not give up on hoping, Holly. We just can't give up on hoping." I could feel her nod against my body and I softly pushed her away from me, so I could look into her eyes.