Aurora's Heart

Part 2- I swear never to leave.

Gabrielle

The pots are on the stove and the blender is going with the carrots. Rory loves carrot juice, so I thought I'd make some for her.

Turning the pipe on, I put my hands under the running water, and slowly wash off the bits of flour left in between my finger from kneading the dough for the biscuits. My fingers passing over the wrinkles on my hands like a grater. I remember when my daughter Ella and I would be in here cooking on days like this. When she was pregnant with Aurora, and Steve, her husband would be at work, finishing his shift at whatever construction site he was contracted to be.  She and I would cook up a storm and talk about when she used to sneak boys in the house, or when I would whoop that ass, and all the different instruments I'd use to whoop that ass.

I smirk to myself.

She married Steve young, of course, I thought she was pregnant since she was just eighteen. But it wasn't that, they were just in love, high school sweethearts and Rory came, four years after. A gift to us all.Especially for Steve who never had a family of his own. They all either died of old age, sickness or gang violence. He was alone til Ella, Rory, and I. The three of us, as close as we could possibly be. It was us against the world. It was to the point that people that Steve was my son. The look on both their faces when people would ask that was priceless.Especially my Ella's, always so coy and quiet...

Not a day goes by when I don't sigh with deep discontentment at the fact that they never got to see her grow up...that they weren't here to reassure her that love is real...and worth it, and beautiful. Of course, I'd tell her stories, but what are stories to witnessing it?

I often compared what my daughter had with Steve to what I had with her dad Timothy, and though we loved each other dearly, that particular spark, that 'I can't live without you' look they'd give each other while sitting around the dinner table, or glances are stolen at the traffic light just to smile at each other, those phone calls Ella would receive while he was at work, just to see if she was okay and tell her she's loved.

He would call her his air...

And as a third party witnessing their love, you'd have to want to believe it...believe that if she left, he couldn't breathe.

I sigh heavily, drying my hands in the dishtowel while getting the spoons. Plates and forks out to set the table.

I feel like I'm failing her every day...like Steve and Ella would do a way better job. Though I never did raise her to be tough...life did that all on its own. I just wish she'd bounce back from hurt quicker.

But grandma's not giving up.
She's all this old gal still lives for.

Aurora

As I lay in bed, the only reminder that I'm not still in that nightmare is the beeps of my alarm clock. Its fast beeps are synchronous with the quickening pace of my heartbeat. After all these years, the same dream haunts my hours of sleep, and I never know when it will reoccur. I go to sleep with fear in my heart every night.

I wasn't supposed to survive...

The familiar thought haunts me every time afterward...the five words that define my very existence.

I slow my breathing, keeping my vision on the decked ceiling, counting to ten in my mind...
I have to get it together. I have dinner with grams today... I look over at the clock and see that I have two hours before I have to be there...I overslept. But it's the weekend, I'm allowed. I click the little switch on it to turn it off.

I can feel my body melt from its frozen state as I think about every and anything but the dream. I've got a lot of work to do, I haven't picked that Manuscript back up yet,