Aurora's Heart

Part 27: Recipe for Happiness?

Sebastian

As I lay in Rory's bed, a pack of peas on my forehead to help the inflammation that is likely going to present itself as swelling in my head where Elijah punched me. Rory paces back and forth in the room. She assumes I am asleep, but I have been awake for a while now,  just watching her as she cries, sighs and palm her face frustrated. What did I allow myself to do to her? I let Georgia convince me to come here, to tell her about him and for what? I hurt her.
As far as I can see all I brought her is pain. She's to be married in three days. Yeah, but we've been over this...she deserves an honest man...and the deserved the truth. Even if I didn't want her for myself, what type of person would I have been to know of his true nature and smile in her face as they gallop along in life, having her happy and oblivious? 

I let out a heavy sigh, and this brings her attention to me. As she sees I'm awake. Her eyes fill with tears.

"I am so sorry," She sobs, walking over to me. She lays on the bed beside me, hugging me and sobbing, and I hold her to me, rubbing her back as she does.

"No, I'm sorry," I sigh, "I should have told you sooner, this is my fault, Rose,"

I feel as her breathing halts as the realization that I knew for a while hits her. I knew she'd have an adverse reaction to me keeping this from her for so long, but I made a vow never to lie to her again. I'll deal with what comes. 

"Rose, I knew what he did for a living for over a year now, "I say and as I say the words she lifts her body from the bed, and out of my grasp. She looks at me with confused eyes and I felt the guilt hit me across my head wound. I feel dizzy. "I  was confronted by his ex-girlfriend who was on a field errand to win him back, she told me everything and I confirmed she was telling the truth shortly after,"

Her eyes widened with shock.

"And you didn't  tell me then!" She yells at me. I deserved that.

"I'm sorry Rose, I really am!" I sigh. Looking her in her eyes. Come on baby, see that I'm sorry. "I had to get proof, I thought you'd  think I was just being jealous and crazy or even worse you'd  believe me and it come with repercussions that are bigger than us both,"

"Risk it!" She growls at me. Her eyes dilated with anger and confusion.  I try to sit up to plead my case, only to be rendered unable. Shit! I hold my head with immediate regret for my stupid attempt. 

"Stop," she sighs, "don't move your head."

Rory starts to pace beside the bed again. Risk it...she says. I wasn't willing to risk her...I'd rather her hate me than be dead because of my need of her.

"I could not do that Aurora!" I plead, catching my breath. "Rose, had I told you anything, I would  have risked you!"

"Oh, so better have me marry the hitman rather than know the truth?" She cries.

Rose, come on!

"No!" I growl, "it fucking killed me to have knowledge of what he did and keep it from you. It fucking killed me to watch you prepare to marry that man, knowing the mere thought of you two together stops my breath!"

"Oh right, it's all about you and how you feel!" She sighs.

"That is the opposite of what I'm saying to you, baby girl!" I sigh. "it was all very confusing and too much wasn't understood. I couldn't just tell you information that I had no right knowing in the first place. Especially after I found out that the organization kills outsiders who know of them with the exception only given to clientele,"

I watch as she pauses and looks down at the floor, with both her hands at my side.  Come on, see reason in what I'm saying!

"I went years without love and my life was calm," she says finally, "It was lonely, but life wasn't complicated. I knew exactly what would occur in my day and though the monotony may have been severe some days, others I'd be grateful for it. Now look at my life once I invite 'feeling' to play?"