Aurora's Heart

Part 36: A man's mind

RORY

If he were here, he'd hold my face in his palms, look into my eyes, and search my soul. And when he has found it, he would grasp it so tightly with the power behind his piercing hazel eyes and make me believe without a shadow of a doubt that I am...being... stupid to not see that this situation is a blessing in disguise. He'd never stop trying to get me to see reason until I'd become irritable and likely yell at him. But he's always gotten me to see the good. But...
Looking at the test, I can hardly see as my eyes fill with tears, much more see how he could talk me into doing this without him. I can hardly breathe and my chest tightens with all the emotions a human bears. I can't even move, I am bound to the toilet seat, having just peed on the test and watched the two lines come up, bright as day. The last time I was in this position,  I was a child, twenty years old. God gave me the most beautiful baby boy and took him back from me. My heart rips into bits as I think about my son, my baby. Then it rips even more as the realization that I am pregnant again hits me. Tears of joy and pain spring from my eyes as I am both grateful and scared. Scared because I wasn't mentally over the loss of my firstborn just yet,  because the situation I am in this unhealthy situation and every day is a battle not to lose my mind over the thought of Sebastian. And grateful because, whoever this little person is inside of my belly, the daddy is one of the greatest men on earth, Sebastian. The thought soothed my heart and mind, but at the same time made me bitter. Elijah still won't tell me where he is, and it's been two whole days since our visit from the agents. 
I take a few more minutes in the bathroom, washing my face, and catching my braids up in a low ponytail. I feel a happiness brewing in my belly as I look at myself in the mirror, my petite frame, olive, bronze skin… the scar down my chest. Suddenly, my mind falls into a pit of bitter memories. Of how my genetic heart condition took my last baby away from me.

I trembled as fear pierced threw me like needles. Catching myself mid anxiety attack, I take a deep breath looking at my reflection in the mirror. I have overcome a lot in my short years, and nothing has ever fucking stopped me from achieving! Not this stupid heart condition, not my parents dying, not Chad's deceit, Elijah, and even Sebastian's revelations, and none of it stopped me! None, but the death of my son, and I still had to stand tall and strong and continue with life after his death, working twice as hard with that open wound in my heart! 

I look at myself in the mirror, watching my facial features changed with the seriousness of my mood. The seriousness behind my intention. 

"Listen, Queen," I say to my reflection, "You will play the game, and you will win. No time for self-doubt, self-pity or even fear, nothing can hold you back from your goals but you. And you will not let negativity stop you from getting Sebastian back, you can more than fucking do this!"

I feel my body tremble once more,  and this time it wasn't fear. It was a rush of power and confidence, I've been lacking all these months being someone's prisoner. I am so fucking over it! I have three lives depending on me, and I will lose any, certainly not because of this situation!
I won't let stress…

Taking the test, I wrapped it in tissue and discarded it in the bin. 

You wanna play Elijah? Then let's play.

Elijah

"There is absolutely no way that can work," I say to Reese over the phone. I'm talking to him about a plan to kill an Armenian man who apparently has an eight million dollar bounty on his head and is being sought after by...everybody.  "your suggestion is dumb," I shrug, taking a sip of coffee, sitting at the kitchen island on a stool. I've just woken up and I slept in nothing but these blue boxers and right about now I am regretting it as the morning is a bit chilly. I sip on my coffee, slowly, savouring it, allowing its heat to work its magic on me while listening to Reese give me legitimate reasons why he thinks his plan will work.