So it's been a little while haha.. hello guys. Umm I've got another kinda feeler here. And I want this to be a bit different.
In my old entrees I'd be typing like I was generally talking to you in person so it's not that New. But this is a genuine, actual entree on my feelings lately. And I'm about to sit you down and talk to you personally.
If you don't care, by all means ignore this. I'm just a dumb teenager talking about her feelings online. Who cares right? Haha. 😅
But getting into it.
(idk why my font changed and I can't figure out how to change it back carry on)
So, for the past several weeks i've been losing quite a few people.. haha. Um. I have maybe, 5 people left, and 4 of them don't live here or they are like, never available to hang out. Which is perfectly fine because I won't push people. But genuinely, I'm lonely. I feel like I'm just the girl who is kinda just there. Like people tolerate me but don't actually care about me.. ya know?
My friends are always out partying or smoking and drinking. Doing bad things. And I just don't fit with that crowd. Which is a good thing, I disagree with that stuff. But even like pool parties and stuff. No one ever invites me.
I'm not sure what I did to be honest. I'm just really lonely haha.. it's kinda sad. 😅 I don't have any friends who want to spend time with me and be around me? And I feel like everyone is just kinda going to their own categories while I'm at home laying in bed.
And like, it hurts? Haha. Like I'll lay in bed and cry? Which is really dumb haha I know. I shouldn't let it affect me. And like I know I shouldn't hold on to the past so much, but like I can't let it go.
Like I miss my friends greatly haha. And I barely even recognize them anymore? And I'm just a touchy feels person but I feel like I've gotten more touchy because I'm really lonely? Like I'm scared if I let it go it will dissolve like everything else?
Like whenever we do anything and I'm walking with a friend, they will either ignore me for the other person or they will leave me for someone else? Haha.
So I guess I'm just not the person to keep around? So I'm sorry guys 😅. I'll just kinda stay away from people I guess haha. Bye.
