Pain and Pleasure - Kellic

Chapter 21

(Trigger warning! mentions of rape for anyone who gets uncomfortable I'm letting you know)

<Kellin pov>

So now I guess I'm dating Vic. I never ever thought this would have happened. But so happy that it did. It's only been a few days, but it's been the best few days. I've been felling a lot better, I think I can now finally now talk about it without it triggering memories. So I've been thinking of telling the guys. I haven't had nightmares in about two and a half weeks. I know that could be a false sense of security, but I'm going with it.

I'll tell the guys first then later tonight I'm meeting with Vic, he's got a late set today while we had an early one. So it's now or never.

"Hey guys?" I say. Nothing.

"Guys!" I say louder.

"What do you want Kellin" Jesse says.

"Guys I'm serious here I need to tell you guys something, so can you please listen" I say.

Then Jack, Justin and Gabe look at me as well.

"What?" Justin asks.

"Well you guys know I had a hard time with the tour started and you guys kept asking me what was wrong but at the time I wasn't ready to say, well now I am"

"Really Kels that's great!" Justin says hugging me for some reason.

"Yeah...?" I say then pushing him off me.  "Anyway as you guys know that I was dating someone but what you don't know was that he was abusive to me" I pause.

"He would tell me all the time these horrible things that I'd rather not say, at the moment, but only was he verbally saying these things he was also physically" I take another pause. This is going to be the hard part to say.

"He would hit me if I did something wrong, and he, more than I can count... rape me" I pause. It's now I look at the guys. And I noticed I was shaking.

"Oh my god Kellin" Justin and Jesse says.

"I'm not done yet, when I finally managed to break up with him. I actually ran away sorta as ridiculous as that sounds, then texted him that we're done and then we we're starting this tour so that's why I was staying with you Jess, but then fast forward a couple weeks remember that day I ran off stage, well I saw him in the crowd and I freaked..." another pause.

"And all those nightmares were what he'd do to me, I was not in a good place, but I've been talking to a therapist over FaceTime the last month or so, and it's helped a whole lot, I never told you guys because I didn't want you to worry, I was trying to protect you guys from my nightmare life. But I can talk about it now so that's why I'm telling you guys, your my bandmates, bestest friends and family. I finish.

"Kellin I don't know what to say" Jack says.

"You don't have to say anything that's not why I told you I wanted you guys to know" I tell him.

Then the guys come up and all hug me. It's one big group hug.

"You know Vic was helping you too, are you going to tell him?" Jesse asks me.

"Yeah I'll tell him later" I say. They continue their hug.

But soon as they all let go and went on with what they're doing and I felt a huge weight lifted off of me Except Justin is still here.

"Hey I don't want to pry any more that what you've told us, but out of curiosity who was this?" He asks me.

"Oh, uh don't say anything please but it his name was Chris, you know him, from Attila" I say.

"Really, I'll kill that bastard if he ever comes near you again" he says.

"Thanks but really don't say anything please" I tell him.

"Ok fine, don't worry Kellin" he says then leaves me alone, good now I can think. Vic should be done or almost done with his set, so I should go find him.

"I'm going for a walk, I'll see you guys later" I tell them. They nod and I leave.

I go to wait by their bus. I soon see the four of them walking up to me. I smile at them.

"Hey guys" I say.

"Hey" they say, Vic just smiles and looks at me shyly.

They rest of them went into their bus, Vic stayed with me.

"Can we talk for a while" I ask.

"Sure" He says.

"Well let's walk around" I suggest

"Wait I should change, I'm super sweaty give me two minutes" He says. I giggle and he walks in the bus, couple minutes later he walks back out.

"Much better" he says. Then he gives me a quick peck on the lips. "Let's go talk now"

So I go on and tell Vic everything I told my band. I know Vic wasn't as shocked since I did tell him some things that's been going on but he was still surprised to know the extent of which it was. He just held me in his embrace for a long time. It was so nice to be in his arms. I felt safe and protected. I know Vic, and he'll do anything to protect his family and friends or anyone he cares for.

I lean in to kiss him. He responds to it immediately. We just stay like this, I needed him like this, his attention. He wraps his arms around my waist has I cup his face with my hands. The kiss actually starts to get more heated, and I'm really enjoying this. But he pulls away when I wasn't expecting him too and he was taking heavy breaths, but I didn't care I pulled him back in and kept kissing him. But again he pulls away.

"Kellin, Kellin, is love to stand here all day we can't take this any farther, than kissing" he says.

"What why?" I ask confused

"I just couldn't knowing what you've been through" he says.

"That's sweet of you really, it is, but your not him, I trust you and I'm ready to move on and not let that effect me forever" I say.

"I get that, and that's amazing but still, how about this, when we say the 'I love yous' I promise you that how's that sound" he says.

"Fine" I say.

"Great, I just really don't want to move that fast right now, I really like you and care about you, I wanna make sure"

"Or your just scared" I say giggling.

"What?"

"Your scared to have gay sex aren't you" I say.

"No" he says.

"Sure, I know you Vic we have been friends for years, before hand. It's ok, you've never been experienced it before, here's a little tip, do some homework" I say with a wink.

"Well I better get back, I'll see you later Vic" I kiss him one more time and then I sassily walk away. I knew I caught him off guard with that but I also knew he was watching me walk away.

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A/N: Sorry it took me so long. This chapter was supposed to be in the next section, but since it's been so long since I last updated so the next update will be the section this was supposed to be in. Also read my new story it's called This is Paradise.