Life, Love, and other misunderstandings [Camren fanfic]

Chapter 20

Lauren's POV

That's it, the look.

She knows. Fucking Ruesca told her.

She's giving me that look.

It's the same look I got from my mom the first time I got home shit faced after some lame high school party and she was awake. Or when I told my dad I didn't want to follow his steps in business.

The same look Lucy gave me when I showed up late to one of exhibits and told her I had to take Camila to the hospital.

It's the same look Camila gave me that night she walked in on Lucy and I messing around at our place.

Disappointment. . .sadness?

There's something else hidden behind those brown eyes, looks a lot like regret or guilt but. . . why?

She got out of that bathroom with a smirking Ruesca following behind her, looked at me and turned around with him by her side.

Childish fucker, he even looked at me and mouthed a "fuck you Jauregui". Who does that?

Did she...? No, she wouldn't, she likes Annie. She's giving it a shot, right?

God, I'm an asshole. SHE'S GIVING IT A FUCKING CHANCE!

The party went on, but I could feel the tension in the atmosphere. I tried to get a word with her but she didn't even look in my direction. Not that I knew what to say either. I don't think I could start to explain, to be honest, like "hey Camz, fun story I've been fucking the girl you like for weeks. By the way, you called yourself a hoe."

I'm not used to this. I'm not used to Camila not paying attention to me.

I watch her exchanging some words with Ruesca, she gives Zach to him and my stomach is sick. This bastard doesn't deserve him. He doesn't deserve to hold him like he's doing or make silly faces to him. Dude, you wanted her to get rid of him! You don't get to play nice now, you don't get to take pictures with Zach.

MY ZACH.

I can't stay any longer watching this ridiculous show happen, so I excuse myself and head to the front door. I told them I had a headache, which is understandable after the shit that went on.

Mom looks worried, she's exchanging looks with Sinu now. They glare at Ruesca after that and for a moment I feel a certaing pride taking over me.

That's it moms, hate him. Hate him like we all do.

Someone grabs my hand before I leave and when I turn around I'm met with those confused brown eyes.

She eyes me carefully. I see her eyes scanning my face, going through all the cuts and sore spots that the fight left there. Ruesca's looking worse tho, good work LJ. You got him. . . okay, focus.

Camila then looks straight into my eyes with that intense look of dissapointment while biting her lip. I can tell she's holding back some tears.

– Lo.... – Camila sighs.

I can't stand this right now. I made her mad, made her sad. Put her in the exact position I told her I'd try to avoid. She was counting on me to make this a special day and I ruined it. I lost it again over some lame words coming out of that douchebag's mouth.

She's my best friend, and I was going at it with the girl she's dating.

I let her down. I don't deserve her either.

– You don't have to...

– I'm sorry Camz. I'll ... see you later. – I cut her off.

And with that I turn and leave. I don't know if it's my imagination, I heard her whisper an "I'm sorry too" but maybe that's just something my mind made up to feel less guilty about everything.

I drive around for an hour or so. I don't know if I should head home or not. It'd be the right thing to do, talk about it, let it all out and try to solve things like adults.

But my high brain won't let me. Not now, at least.

I go buy some beers and head to my special place. It's this cool beach few miles away from the city. Lucy and I discovered it when we were seniors in college and were looking for a place where we could escape from everyone. We needed our privacy.

When I sit down I just watch the waves hit some rocks.

What now? What is she feeling? Is she pissed at me? Is she mad because I had this going with her girl? I mean, we didn't really know. We stopped when we found out, right? It shouldn't matter. That kiss shouldn't matter.

But it mattered to me. Because I like her. I like Annie, and letting her go is not as easy as I thought it'd be.

– what do you think, Luce? Am I being stupid right now? I miss you, I need you. You'd know what to do in a situation like this. You were the wise one when it came to feelings and complicated shit like this, amor.

And that's true, because Lucy always had great advice when it came to relationships in general. She knew hoy to deal with people.

She knew how to calm me before I did stupid shit.

–This wouldn't even be a problem if you were here, because we'd still be together, you know? When did life get so complicated?

And so I lay on the sand, staring up at the sky. I should get back home soon and have that long, awkward conversation.

Or I could just grab my stuff and stay at a hotel until family leaves.

Yeah, that sounds like a better option.

Let's do this shit.

Cheers.