waste the night [c.h.]

six

The walk to the frat house was excruciating in the heels that Jessie made me wear, but also anxious. I was terrified of my first party. 

I was an eighteen, almost nineteen, year old girl who's never been to a party, never had a drink of alcohol, never had sex, I would definitely win Never Have I Ever. 

We walked inside, Jessie immediately parting from me as I took in the surroundings. Boys and girls were strayed everywhere, red solo cups in their hands, talking and dancing to each other. 

Some of the boys' eyes shifted to me, raking up and down my body, making me squirm under their vision. I shouldn't have came, I shouldn't have worn this dress. I probably looked stupid and overdressed, most of the girls wearing skirts or shorts, the boys wearing jeans and t-shirts. 

I pulled at the bottom of my dress, trying to get it to cover more. I turned away, using my hair as a curtain to avoid looking at them. 

Someone suddenly stepped in front of me, their brown eyes meeting mine.

"Alex, I'm glad you could make it." Calum grinned, handing me a red cup.

Jessie appeared behind him, moving over to us. She grabbed the cup from my hand and returned it to Calum's, a frown on her lips.

"Rule number one: never take drinks from anyone, make you own," she smiled, turning to Calum. "Not even from handsome, brown eyed frat boys."

"Dully noted." I chuckled, taking the drink from her hand.

"Jessie," Calum greeted. "Nice to see you."

"You too, Hood," she returned the smile, looking at me. "Alex, here, has never been to a party, how about you give her a first dance?"

Calum opened his mouth to say something but I quickly cut him off. "No, it's fine, I'm not into dancing."

"You're not into parties, boys, friends, or alcohol," Calum smirked. "What do you like?"

"Peace and quiet." I shot him a smirk before turning on my heel and aiming for the couch.

Him and Jessie went to the dance floor, grinding awkwardly against each other to the beat, trying not to spill their drinks. I already hated it here. Everyone was either drunk or past out, no one was sober. Except for me.

I took a sip from the cup, my mouth twisting in disgust as it burned the back of my throat. I set the cup to the side, definitely not my thing.

As the night went on, I stayed on the couch, watching as everyone got drunker and danced to the overbearingly loud music. I couldn't take this anymore. The boys were basically undressing me with their eyes, it was sick. 

I got up to get some fresh air when someone wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me against them. Their chest pressed against my back as they leaned down, pressing their lips to my ear.

"Hey there, pretty girl," their voice said. "You wanna dance?"

I shoved against their arms, turning around to look at them. "Sorry, no-no I don't want to dance."

"Yes, you do, darling," he smirked, his fingers digging into my hips as he pulled me closer. "C'mon, just one."

I pressed the palm of my hands against his chest, shoving him away. "No, I don't want to dance, please, leave me alone-"

He pressed his lips to my neck, making me squirm even harder against his arms, trying to push away. "Stop!"

I pushed him away harshly as he stumbled and fell, making me turn and head for the door. "You stupid slut, no one wants to fuck you anyway-"

I ran outside, tears already burning my eyes as I starting to head back to the dorms. I stopped, pulling the uncomfortable heels from my feet, the soft patter of my bare feet hitting the cement.

The walk home was short, the makeup was all ruined from crying, my feet sore from walking. I unlocked the door, taking a shower before settling in bed.

I thought about what that dude had said to me, making my eyes well up with tears. I knew I never should have went to that party. It was a mistake.

I should have listened to myself when I said never to attend parties. He could have touched me inappropriately, he could have forced me to do something, there are too many risks. Too many risks I couldn't take, this is just something I couldn't do. I was taught not to. 

I couldn't take risks like that. I shook my head, sinking further into the pillow as I let out a soft cry.

All I wanted tonight was to fit in and I couldn't even do that.