waste the night [c.h.]

thirty-seven

Two months later

I snuggled into Michael's chest, willing my eyes shut as tears threatened to rack my body.

"Please don't cry." He whispered, rubbing my back softly.

"I can't do this anymore, Mikey, I can't fucking do this," I breathed against his chest. "He just walks past me like I don't exist, like what we were meant absolutely nothing. I stood up to my parents for him-fuck, Michael-"

"Calm down," he said, his hands going to my face. "Alex, you need to calm down before you have another panic attack."

I breathed out deeply, gripping Michael's wrists that still lingered on my face. "I'm serious, Alex, I love Calum as much as the next person but you can't let him have this affect on you."

"You think I like this?" I scoffed, pushing his hands from me. "You think I like literally like having my heart torn apart by some stupid frat boy who broke up with me after getting into my pants?"

"I don't know what happened, Ally, I just know that he's kind of over you and you need to get over him."

I stood up, tears starting to burn my eyes as I made my way to the bathroom. "Thanks a lot, Michael."

I slid down the door, my head falling into my hands. Calum has been the only thing on my mind for the last two months. Wondering what I did to make him break up with me, why I thought that falling in love with a frat boy was a good idea, falling in love with anyone really.

I stopped attending class as often as I should, I stopped studying for tests, I stopped caring about any and everything. Except for him. Calum changed the way I looked at myself. He taught me that I was worth something, I had my own purpose that my parents didn't control.

I wasn't supposed to be controlled by my parents my entire life. College was for making mistakes, for finding who you were, what you wanted to do and who you wanted to be. 

My parents have controlled me for the entire nineteen years of my life, they stripped me void of personality, they controlled who I was going to be, what I was going to do, I had nothing. I couldn't take it anymore.

I was meant to be something, to be someone, and they weren't supposed to tell me what it was. Who I was. I had to figure that out myself.

My parents were on the verge of pulling me out of college and putting me in the community college down the street from home.

At this point, I didn't care anymore. 

I took a deep breath, pushing the tears from my face. My eyes fell on the tattoo on my wrist, my shaky fingers running over it.

Even when your life is dark, you have a bit of light right here.

"Bullshit." I muttered softly, pulling my sleeve down to cover it.

***

"Alex," Jessie shook me softly, making me groan and turn over. "Alex, I'm serious, get up."

I sat up, looking over at her. "What?"

"You have class in less than twenty minutes, you have to stay in class, Alex," she said, pulling the covers off. "I know you're in a funk but you can't get kicked out of school."

"They won't kick me out," I rolled my eyes, pulling a hoodie over my head. "Not with the money my daddy's throwing at the dean."

"Don't let some stupid boy ruin your future, Ally, especially not stupid frat boys."

"It's not just about Calum, okay? Now back off, Jess."

She raised her hands in defense, grabbing her bag and throwing it over her shoulder. "I'm going to meet up with Luke, get your ass to class."

I rolled my eyes, pulling on a pair of sweatpants before grabbing my bag and heading towards class. I walked in late, sitting down at the back of the room, my eyes falling on Calum sitting at the very front, where I used to sit.

He turned around at the sound fo the door opening, his eyes falling on me. I immediately glanced away, pulling my hood farther over my head.

"Miss Taylor, how nice of you to join us," the professor said from the front of the class. "Why don't you tell us what you're doing your midterm paper on?"

"Hmm, you know I haven't exactly decided on what topic I was doing yet," I smirked, crossing my legs. "It's between how the teenage brain reacts to young love or how male brains are accustomed to be assholes."

Calum sighed, turning his face to me.

"Seems interesting, care to elaborate at all?"

"No, not really."

He narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. "Miss Taylor, I'd like to see you after class."

After class, I stalked to the front of the class, bumping into Calum's shoulder, a deep sigh falling from lips at the contact. He reached for my arm but I moved away, standing in front of the teachers desk.

"Miss Taylor, I'd like to talk to you about your unusual behavior in class."

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms. "Okay?"

"Your parents have expressed that you're reliable and that you're a good student, I have seen your work and you're a very intelligent girl but I fear you're going on the wrong path."

"Well, that's not your job to worry about."

"Alex, I know college is hard, especially for a girl like you-"

"And what does that mean?"

"Sheltered your entire life under your parents, who control everything, it's not hard to have some freedom and realize that their life isn't the life you want to live."

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Yes, I do," he chuckled. "I was you but instead of trying to break free, I followed their rules and their paths and now I'm a teacher for the rest of my life."

"Sir, I'm not understanding."

He set his hands on my arms, his eyes meeting mine. "Don't let them control you, if you can't control your time here at college, control your future. Drop out if you need to, compromise."

"This isn't exactly the pep talk I had in mind."

He laughed softly. "You're a bright young girl, Alex, you don't need your parents to have a good future, alright?"

I nodded, mumbling a thank you before heading back to the dorm.