waste the night [c.h.]

twenty-two

Two weeks had passed since my mom visited me. 

I hadn't seen Calum since. I followed her directions, I couldn't have anything actually for myself. Nothing that I could control. They controlled everything. I should have known better than to think I could outsmart my mother.

I stopped going to the parties. I stopped wearing the clothes that I bought for the parties. I stopped hanging out with Calum. Jessie and I hardly spoke anymore. I was focusing on my work from all my classes, like I was supposed to be doing.

Michael and I hardly even spoke in class. Michael was easy to just be silent around. He understood that I didn't want to talk, that having someone around was comforting enough.

My mom had eyes everywhere, no matter what I did, she knew. I thought going to college would change everything, that I would finally be free. But I was wrong.

I stood in front of the mirror before class, staring at me. I needed a change. I needed something that I could control.

I twisted my hair between my fingers, glancing at the scissors in the drawer. I took a deep breath, grabbing the scissors and chopping off one side of my hair. 

I looked in the mirror, smiling softly at the length. I quickly did the other side, fixing loose pieces before brushing it out.

Short. My hair. Something I could control. 

I walked back into the room after getting dressed, Jessie's eyes falling on me.

"Oh my god, Alex, what did you do?" She asked, running a hand through my hair.

"I needed a change, something I could control," I said quietly. "Does it look okay?"

She immediately nodded, smiling. "It looks great."

I went to class, keeping my head down as I walked. I turned the corner, running into someone, stumbling backwards.

"Sorry," they mumbled, starting to go around me but stopped. "Alex?"

I turned around, meeting Calum's eyes. He instantly reached up, touching my hair. 

I flinched away, turning away from him. He pulled his hand back, shoving it in his pocket. "Sorry. It just-it looks great. You look great."

"Thanks, Cal, I uh, I gotta go." I turned around and headed for the class, quickly sitting down next to Michael.

He looked over at me, his jaw dropping. "Holy shit, Alex."

I turned around, reaching up to my hair. "Does it look that bad?"

"You look great," he nodded. "Did you have an identity crisis?"

I shrugged. "Basically."

"Was it because you and Calum broke up?"

I snapped my head towards him, raising my eyebrows. "Calum and I were never together."

"Oh please." Michael rolled his eyes.

"Shut up." I chuckled, paying attention to the instructor.

***

"Can you come with me somewhere?" Jessie asked me after we'd done some homework together.

"It depends where."

She looked over at me and smiled. "Luke invited me to this thing."

"Luke?" I smiled at her. "What thing?"

"He's in a band."

"Wait, Luke's that blonde," I smirked. "Yeah, I'll go."

I changed into a classic band tee shirt, the Blink-182 symbol plastered across the front and torn shorts. I followed Jessie out and over to apparently, the frat house.

I stopped in front. "Jessie, I can't go in there."

"C'mon, you need to have fun." She grabbed my hand, pulling me forward. 

"I can't have fun, Jess," I pulled my hand from hers, turning away. "I can't do this."

My chest collided with someone's, their hands going to my waist to hold me up. I looked up at Calum, tears already starting to burn my eyes.

My eyes went from his eyes to the top of his head, where blonde streaks now blossomed from.

He noticed my stare before smiling, shrugging. "You cut yours so I colored mine."

Oh my god. This boy was perfect. I met his eyes, a sad smile pulling at his lips.

I stood on my toes and pressed my lips against his, pushing my hands into his hair. His arms went around my waist, holding me against him as he kissed me softly.

I smiled against his lips, pulling back and brushing his hair softly. "It looks great, Cal. Thanks."

He took my hand and pulled me inside, where people were all gathered around the living room, the boys helping set up drums, guitars, and amps. 

Luke got on stage, a mic in his hand. "What's up everybody? I'm glad you all could make it."

Calum turned to me, pressing a kiss on my cheek. "I'll be right back."

I opened my mouth to ask him where he was going but he was already through the crowd. I saw Jessie over at the usual alcohol table and I went over to her. She smiled at me, fixing a drink for both of us.

I took a sip of it and smiled at her. I didn't care what my parents thought of me, this was fun. This was where I fit in with my friends. With Jessie. With Calum.

"We're 5 Seconds of Summer," Luke said through the mic. "This is She's Kinda Hot."

I looked over as they started singing, my eyes widening as I saw Calum on stage, a guitar around him. I nudged Jessie, raising my eyebrows. 

She turned to me. "What?"

"Calum's in the band?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I thought you knew."

I shook my head, watching him strum the guitar and sing along with the other boys. 

Holy crap, he was friggin' hot. I bit my lip as the played a bunch of songs, sweat starting to shine off Calum's forehead and arms. 

He placed me in the crowd, sending a wink at me. I took my lip between my teeth, watching his tongue dart past his lips.

Oh, frick.