✔️Incarcerated Hearts (BOOK 2 of Under Arrest: Dela Conde No. 1)

Chapter 14: Realizations

Chapter 14

Realizations

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Sadness is already been part of our lives. It is everywhere but you can easily feel it when you're alone in a four walled room. Sometimes, when you're alone and feel broken, you willingly let yourself drowning from sadness. We, people, sometimes let pain to consume us for a day or more, so that one day when we wake up, we can no longer feel the heavy feeling.

I promised to myself five years ago that I will never cry again because of one person. But here I am, eating my own words as I cry because of the same person again. I told myself that he could never hurt me again. But here I am in a bed hugging both knees as I cry because of pain.

This is may be childishness for some but they can't blame me for crying. I am just a mother who loves my child dearly.

Marami mang bagay na nangyari sa mga taong nagdaan ay hindi ko pa rin makuha ang sagot sa kung bakit ganoon ang reaksyon ni Henrik. Pero hindi ko rin dapat na malimot na lahat ng lalake maaaring maging ama pero iilan lamang ang magpapaka-ama at hindi kasali si Henrik sa mga taong 'yon.

Sa sinabi niya ay dinagdan niya lang ang rason ko kung bakit ko ilalayo sa kanya ang anak namin. Siguro hindi ako maiintindihan ng iilan sa kung bakit ganito ang gagawin ko pero may sarili akong mga rason.

All my thoughts were cut when my phone started singing a song. It was due to my husband's call.

"Are you home?" he asked and I answered yes then I remained in silence.

"Aren't you going to tell me what happened?"

"Nothing, I am just tired, Khalil," I said.

"You can always fool someone but not me, Jenan. I know your voice when you're tired and especially when there's something that you're hiding from me. And this time, I know that there's sadness in your voice. Come on, hon, you can always count on me, I am your husband remember?"

Hindi ako nagsalita at tahimik lamang na umiyak pero hindi nakatakas sa pandinig niya ang simpleng pag singhot ko.

"I wish I am near you, so that I could give you a hug," he said and made me cry hard.

Now, I am missing this man.

"Hon, when you miss us, you can always decide to come home," he added.

Hindi ako nagsalita at hindi niya rin ako pinilit na magsalita, sa halip ay siya ang nagsasalita at pilit na pinapagaan ang nararamdaman ko. At aaminin ko, ito ang bagay na gustong-gusto ko sakanya, palagi siyang nandiyan para sa 'kin.

"Jenan, I know that you miss us but I am also aware that this is not what keeps you bothered. This is about your ex right?"

We fall into silence and then suddenly he laughs a bit.

"Don't worry, it's fine with me if we're going to talk about your ex. Did he mess with you? Just tell me and I'll mess his face," he said which made me smile a little.

"It wouldn't make you jealous?" tanong ko.

"It depends, when you're going to praise him then I'll be mad as a bull but I am confident that you're not going to do that."

Napatawa't napailing na lamang ako sa nasambit niya at kahit papaano'y medyo gumaan ang pakiramdam ko.

"Ngayon, pwede mo na bang sabihin sa akin ang problema mo?" seryoso niyang tanong sa 'kin.

"Can we talk about it when I'm home instead?" I said which would probably confuse him.

"What do you mean? Are you done with your case?" nagtatakang tanong niya.