✔️Incarcerated Hearts (BOOK 2 of Under Arrest: Dela Conde No. 1)

Chapter 21- Farewell

Chapter 21
Farewell
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Have you ever wish not to be awake one morning? Ako kasi, sa ngayon, oo. Hindi dahil sa hindi ko kayang bitawan ang nangyari sa aking kahapon kung hindi dahil sa hindi ko kayang harapin ang mga bagay na magiging resulta sa mga nagawang desisyon ko sa kahapon.

When sun kissed my skin, I already found myself lying on the floor. I bit my lips as my head aches and so my body is.

Too much liquor, I guess.

But I can't fool my self, this is due to something else. From a thing, I shouldn't have done. A thing that I should only share with my husband, Khalil.

I sighed. I couldn't see where Henrik is, so I pulled myself up and gathered my shit together. I went to the kitchen but I never found him. I was left alone in his house.

I took a sigh at the idea that I was left alone. I shouldn't expect something. That was just a mere heated contact. I made a mistake. We sinned our partners and I shouldn't expect something after it.

Should I be blamed? Yes, I should. I should really be the one to blame.

I waited for a bit, trying to think of something that can ease my heavy feeling, but at the end, my heart remains heavy, and there was no Henrik came, even his shadow did not came. So as a result, I just prepared myself from leaving. I removed his shirt and I wore the same clothes I am wearing yesterday, then I finally left his house without a trace.

Unlike yesterday, the weather is much calmer. I smile bitterly at the sight. Sana ganito rin kapayapa ang buhay ko.

Nagsimula akong maglakad kahit hindi ko alam kung saan ako tutungo but I couldn't care about the road I am taking now, for my mind is so occupied by memories I wished I could remove.

Sa bawat punong payapang nakatirik sa lupang dinadaanan ko, nahiling ko na lamang na sana kasing simple lang ang buhay ko tulad ng mga punong ito. 'Yon bang hindi ko na iisipin kung mali ba ang ginagawa ko o hindi.

I sighed and continued walking until I found a small chapel, still part of the subdivision. I took a deep breathe trying to get a hold of myself, but as I take my steps towards its entrance, I couldn't hold myself anymore, tears immediately poured my eyes.

Slowly by slowly, I walked through the aisle of the empty chapel. Sa bawat paghakbang ko, pabigat nang pabigat ang nadarama ko. My knees are now weak and my vision is getting blurry.

Dati wala akong pakealam kay Khalil, pero ngayon napagtanto ko, hindi ko pala kayang saktan siya. For a man who did everything for me, hindi niya ako deserve. But even though he doesn't deserve a woman like me, I would still want to live with him. In other words, I don't want to lose him. I owe him everything and he already means something to me, and I haven't imagine my life without him.

Nagsisimula pa lang kaming dalawa pero dinungisan ko na ang pagsasama namin.

"Father, forgive your child," I said, almost a whisper and can't even look straight to the image of my dearest Creator.

I now surrendered myself in front of his huge statue. On my bended knees, I did not dare to stare at his image.

I am not worthy of His grace, for I am a sinner.

As my tears continued to pour, my heart is slowly ripping apart, it is aching, so bad, as I remember how I call his name while I was under him. How I beg and cried for his favor.

My shoulder is shaking as I cried the burden in my heart.

Naaalala ko ang lahat kung paano ko binuka ang mga hita ko't hinayaan siyang makapasok at gumalaw sa ritmong kapwa pamilyar sa aming dalawa. I remember how his warm mouth sucked the little mountain of mine. I still remember how he fucked me on that wooden floor. I still remember how he stared at me like I was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. I still remember...the mistake I shouldn't have done.