Clueless

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Locking the door as I rush towards my room with tears still dripping on my eyes. Clawing at my neck I could feel my throat clenching up, preventing my throat from getting any sufficient air.

"Haah.... Haahh.... Breathe rose, breathe"

I could breathe again. The panic attack has already subsided but the pain in my heart didn't.

They didn't know rose.

They didn't know.

All this time, the memories of us family, the times where there's no sadness and happiness was clearly seen in our face was long gone.

With just a few foowery words he said my father turned his back on me.

But he didn't know the truth. I never tell them and I promise myself that I will take this secret down until my last breath.

My hands are shaking , tremors racking down my whole body. I need something.

A sharp going makes way through my eyes and I immediately take it. A small knife.

Taking it I slice my first cut in this day. I swallowed the pain, feel the hotness of my blood as I tried to slice another one.

Heading to my bathroom I opened the shower curtain and filled it with water. Submerging myself from the coldness, I could finally relaxed.

Pain and darkness is my best friend, the one who always accompany me on my every day.

There are some times I wanted to badly shout that hes not what you think he is. Not the good man you expect him to be. But I was so young back then.

He was the big bad wolf whom I was scared of and I'm the little red Riding Hood.

But I'm already big now. I wanted to tear off his face so they can see his true colors.

But their happy now. I think they're already happy not knowing anything.

"Ignorance is a bliss"

Feeling cold I step out of the shower and do my nightly routines. Turning the lights off I was dead asleep.

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