stoic

Chapter 30

Ryder's POV

As I made my way downstairs, I  took the biggest sigh and brushed my hand through my hair, tugging at it slightly.

Brendan, Axel and Tim were all watching something on the TV. "Where's Molly?" I asked them and Brendan pointed to the kitchen. When I got in there she was making mac and cheese.

"Hey." I say, sitting at a stool at the island. She turned around and gave me a small smile.

"Sounded like you two had fun up there." Molly said with humor laced in her voice.

I let out a single laugh before resting my chin in my hand.

"I feel so guilty." I tell Molly and she gives me a sympathetic look. "For you and for allowing the same thing that happened to you happen to Mackenzie."

"It's not your fault Ryder. This town is just fucked up."

"I don't know why you wanted to come back.. after everything you went through."

"Despite that.. my family lives here and you have to face your fears at some point in your life."

I didn't say anything I just watched as she stirred the mac and cheese. I could never admit to her that I only dated her to get back at Tim. Don't get me wrong.. she was a very beautiful girl and definitely deserved Tim.

"I'm so sorry Molly." I blurted out  and she whipped her head around.

"It's all in the past." She said softly. I don't know why she was so calm, I would've been angry at me.

"That doesn't mean anything. I thought you were dead for fucks sake."

"Ryder.." she started "I'm here. I'm healthy and I'm forgiving you. Just give Mackenzie some time to think. I know what she's been through. Just don't distance yourself from her because she needs you just like I needed someone after what happened last year. Here.."

She grabbed a bowl and put some Mac and Cheese into it before sliding it over to me. "Give this to her." I grabbed a fork from the drawer before turning to face Molly.

"Thank you." I told her.

"What for?"

"For forgiving me. And for giving me all that advice. I probably would've distanced myself from her."

Molly nodded before I walked out the room and walked up stairs towards Kenzie's room. She was awake looking up at her ceiling, deep in thought.

I sat on the edge of her bed and she sat up as I passed her the bowl. She took it before licking her lips. Despite how much she had been crying, she still looked beautiful. She didn't look at me once, she just whispered a 'thank you.'

"Please speak to me." I whispered, wiping a lingering tear off of her cheek with my thumb. She lent into my palm and let out a sigh. "I'm so sorry Mackenzie." I could feel the pressure of tears in my eyes and nose.

Mackenzie's POV

"I'm so sorry Mackenzie." 

I looked up at him and his eyes were glossy and his cheeks were slightly pink. No matter how much anger I was feeling in this moment in time, I didn't want Ryder to break down.

"Please don't cry." I choked out in a whisper, Ryder looked into my eyes and I reached my hand up to his face to catch a tear which fell.

"Nothing goes right Mackenzie." He sobbed. I placed the bowl onto my bedside table and pulled myself closer to Ryder. "I have no family.. No one. I thought I was going to lose you." 

It broke my heart seeing Ryder cry, his lips were pink and tears fell down his cheeks. I couldn't help my own tears from falling.

"You mean so much to me Kenzie." His voice cracked. "Seeing you upset makes it seem like a rainy day." He let out a single laugh but I stayed stoic.

"It's all my fault.. I know it is. I'm so sorry." Ryder was now sobbing which made me feel awful inside. Just because I had never seen anyone like Ryder cry before. He was always so good at hiding his emotions so seeing him like this shattered my heart into a million pieces.

"Please stop crying Ryder." I whisper resting my forehead against his. He inhaled deeply.

"Don't leave me Mackenzie." He whispered. "Please."

"I'm not going to leave you Ryder." I say and he leans in and kisses me gently. I could taste his tears but I couldn't care less.

"I'm sorry." He whispers on my lips.

"I know."