Peter's Journal

What should I do?

**I was watching Spider-Man 2 and this short idea came up. You'll probably see a few lines and events from the movie here.

Being Spider-Man...isn't always the best. Especially when you suffer injuries from battles, the press attacks you, and have to constantly juggle the responsibilities of life.

To be honest...I don't know what to do. I thought I did, but with the recent events I've gone through, I have to rethink things. I do so much good as Spider-Man, but the moment I'm back to Peter Parker, everything starts going wrong again. Maniacs appear in the city with some kind of science experiment to rule the world. Then, I wear the costume to save the day, and there I go. Almost plummeting towards my death because, suddenly, my powers are gone.

What am I supposed to do?

Am I not supposed to have what I want...?

******

Later that night, I tried to take my mind off things by swinging around town. That's where it happens again.

THWIP! THIK!

"Oh no-"

THIK!

As I free fall from the sky, I attempt to spin webs in vain, only to crash right into a dumpster in an alley. I climb out and a random floating newspaper slams into my face. The headline read: Doc Ock and Spider-Man: Working Together in Bank Robbery? I throw the article aside and pull off my mask. "Please tell me, I'm not losing my powers..." I say while I examine my hand. 

Right. Left. Right. Left. Right-

My hands begin to skid down the wall, and I fall into a puddle.

SPLASH!

"Ow..." I groan, "I can't- I need to try again..."

I make a second attempt, but the fall was worse.

I am losing my powers...

******

After evading my rent collector, I sat on my bed questioning everything. My choices. My life. Why this is happening to me. What I'm supposed to do.

Maybe I'm not supposed to be the hero of the city. I can't do it. I'm sorry Uncle Ben.

I fall asleep from exhaustion hoping to forget about everything. Then I'm in the car again...with Uncle Ben.

"All the things you've been thinking about Peter...make me sad."

"Don't you understand? I'm in love with her, and here I am suffering because of these powers."

"You know I understand, but I thought you'd learned the meaning of responsibility."

I feel a lump in my throat as I say, "You don't know how it feels..."

"Peter, all thise times we've talked of honesty, fairness, justice... All those times I counted on you to have the courage to take those dreams out into the world."

"I can't live your dreams anymore. I want a life of my own."

"You've been given a gift, Peter. With great power, comes great responsibility."

He extends his arm and says, "Take my hand, son." with small a smile. 

But I can't. "No, Uncle Ben," I sob, "I'm just Peter Parker..."

His grin disappears upon my response and looks down.

"I'm sorry."