Peter's Journal

Pizza Time

**Another shit post cause I'm legit dying-

"Yo Peter, what's this," Miles asked as he held a paper with scribbles of chemical and mathematical formulas.

I turn around and say, "Oh just a new chemical formula for stronger webs."

"Why do you need a stronger web formula?" Gwen asks.

"So last week I tried hanging myself and the-"

"PETER N O."

*****

"Ah great, another robbery and I'm fucken sick." I mumble.

I respond to the B&E report and stick to the side of a wall waiting to sneak up on one on the guys keeping watch. Right before I can deck him, I coughed  and alerted them.

They all point their guns at me and start screwing with me. "Does Spider-Man have a cold?"

I squint at them and say, "No, I have the flu. And I hope you all are vaccinated because I'm going to get up close and personal."

"WAIT- I was never vaccinated in my life- I can't die!"

The guys suddenly break into laughter.

"You're an antivax kid? Man, would I pay to be you right now." I answered.

((No, Peter Parker would never say this.))

*****

"Peter, you're straight. You like girls."

Being the stupid ass I am, I make a joke to respond to that for the sake of coping and being funny. I say, "No, I'm not straight. I'm fucked up." That was followed by finger guns.

*****

Venom cracks me against the head and throws me into the ground.

"Brock... You gotta take it off... The suit.... It's powerful, but it can.... Take over your mind."

Brock's face is revealed and snickers, "You'd like that, wouldn't you. Now you want it back because you miss the power of the N-Word."

"I don't have the power... But he does. You ready, kid?"

Miles jumps onto the symbiote's shoulder and places his hand on it. "Nigga."

Like a spilled bowl of spaghetti, the symbiote disperses everywhere and the world is safe once again.