Peter's Journal

Be True To Yourself

**This is a conversation I want a whole Spidey comic to be about. Just Aunt May and Peter talking.

It was a while since I visited my aunt. I seriously wonder how she's doing. Mary Jane says that she's been asking about me every time she visits her. She'll ask her the same thing most of the time, "How's Peter? Can you let him know I want to see him?" Thing is...

I'm always busy trying to keep up with school, keep my relationship going, conceal my identity... Just trying to keep my life from getting any worse. I know I can't tell her about this Spidey thing because she'll just kneel over and die from a heart attack if she found out. So here I am, making excuses as to why I haven't visited my aunt.

Man, I am a horrible nephew.

I knock on the door, and her voice comes through the screened door. "Who is it?" She called gently. "Hey, Aunt May." I replied.

I've never seen her walk to fast in my life before.

Golly... She's still crazy fit.

"Oh Peter!" She exclaimed joyfully, "I haven't seen you in so long, young man." She wrapped her arms around me and tightly held on. "Woah, May. Don't squeeze so tight. You might break me," I cracked.

Her and I always messed around like that, but boy was she strong.

*****

I take a seat at the old table we've had since I first came to live in this house, and she asks if I want anything to eat. I decline her offer and settle for some cookies she has at the center of the table.

As she stirs the spoon in her coffee mug, she asks, "How have you been, Peter? I've called you several times, and you've answered very few of my calls. Mary Jane was here not too long ago and she said you were busy with homework and projects for ESU."

"Yeah, sorry. I'm trying to keep my numbers up there. That's why I haven't been able to call you back much or visit a lot more often."

Of course, I'm actually failing my classes and at risk for losing my scholarship as well as about to get evicted from my apartment because I'm fighting crime in a spider themed suit.

She pulled out a chair and took a seat across from me. "And how are things at the Bugle?" She inquired, "Is that idiot of an editor Jonah still commissioning you for those photographs of Spider-Man?"

I chuckled and answered, "Yeah, he is. Robbie says I'm getting better at taking his pictures. Jonah... Well, he hasn't changed. No one can convince his stubborn brain about Spider-Man being a menace to the city."

She sighed and placed her coffee on the table. "It bothers me that you're attempting to prove Jameson wrong about his view on Spider-Man when he keeps using your pictures to make negative press on him," she complained, "I don't believe he's a menace at all. I'm sure others believe too."

It always made me glad to know May believed in what Spider-Man does for the city. Although she didn't know it was her very own nephew, it still makes me glad to know at least someone rooted for me. 

I smiled and replied, "He'll come around. Everyone else at the Bugle argues with him about his publishings on Spider-Man. Especially Robbie."

"Well," May started, "I can always give Jameson another grievance call."

I laughed and said, "No, May, that's fine."

*****

Her and I spent hours talking about what happened in our lives during the time we haven't seen each other, and man, it felt like I missed an entire decade because she had a plethora of things to tell me about. From gossip she heard from MJ's aunt to great deals she found on the newspaper for groceries to the time when she got into a heated argument with an Amazon employee because her package was running late.

As we talked, I couldn't help but notice her glance to the side every now and then. On the fifth occasion, I asked her, "May... What's wrong?"

She attempted to avoid the question and answered, "Nothing Peter."

I knew my Aunt May well enough that when something troubles her, she attempts to hide it to keep me from worrying. I turn to look at what she's facing and find my Uncle Ben.

I don't know why, but a lump formed in my throat. It's been years since that day... But I just suddenly felt a heavy weight on my chest.

May grinned. "I miss him everyday, Peter. Some days, I miss him a lot more, but what can we do? All we can do is keep on living our lives for him."

That's where it got to me. I try to hold my tears back, but they just start cascading down. May gives me an expression of concern and asks, "What's wrong, Peter?"

"I... I miss him too May. It's just... I don't know. I'm kind of lost without him. You say that we should keep on living for him and continue on our paths, but I feel so ashamed because I've wanted to give up so many times."

"Oh, Peter," she comforted, "It's okay to feel like giving up. Everyone does every now and then. It's not wrong to feel like that. Your Uncle Ben would understand. What he never wanted was for you was to refuse to get back up. That you would keep going despite the odds. Despite what they say. Despite what others think. You push through."

But what if you're messing up so badly? What if it seems like the whole world doesn't agree with what you're doing even though you believe what you're doing is right?

"Spider-Man did that for the city," she added.

Her example caught me by surprise.

"I've heard about his battles in the papers and the news. Everyone talks about him and the good he does for others. Never asking for thanks or recognition."

But-

"But do you hear the things they say about him?" I inquired,"He saves lives and helps people, but there's still others who blame him for the problems he never really caused. They put so much negativity on him, sometimes he questions whether he made the right choice to do what he does."

"Then, he should know that the only voice he should listen to is his own," she advised.

How? How when other people's opinion make me question my own?

"It doesn't matter what the media, the politicians, or the whole world says. Their words and opinions don't define you. Your actions do. And although at times their words can get to you and make you question why you fight, remember the reason that motivated you."

She placed her hands over my own and continued, "You've done so many amazing things, Peter. Your Uncle Ben was a great man, but, like he wanted, you've become someone more extraordinary than him. You're a brilliant and kind young man with courage unlike no other. You inspire so many without knowing it."

For the first time in a long time, I remembered why I became Spider-Man: to help others in ways not many people could. To make a difference in the world.

She tightened her grip on my hand and spoke. "Peter, my nephew, I love you so very much."

"I love you too, Aunt May."

Writer's note:
This story was mainly for myself, but hopefully, some people can take something out of it. For the Marvel fans, you might recognize some quotes as they're not mine, but I incorporated them because I felt that they fit into the writing. I hope you guys like it.