Peter's Journal

You Don't See?

My younger self runs up to me in delight. "Hey!" he called as he neared himself.

The very sight of him just evoked so much anger. I gave him a stern greeting and pushed him aside.

"What the hell's your problem, dude?" He asked.

I tried staying silent and held it in. Then, he kept nagging at me.

"Dude, what's your problem? I didn't do anything to you right now. Like, yeah there were mistakes made but that's what I do! I'm the younger you!"

"The most pathetic one too," I spat.

He stays quiet.

"You know how fucking stupid you are? How you just think everything will go your way and nothing does?! Thinking that doing the right thing is going to get you praise??!?"

He begins to back up while telling me to call down. "Art, stop. What happened?"

"YOU HAPPENED! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S RUINING MY LIFE!"

"What the hell did I do?!" He yelled back.

"YOU'RE YOU! STUPID, KIND, EASY TO STEP OVER AND SO GULLIBLE!"

He stopped backing up and began to hold his ground. "Look, if you remembered about what happened with Iv-"

My frustration began to go through the roof. I couldn't think. I was so intoxicated with rage I couldn't reason with myself. All I wanted to sink my knuckles into his face.

When he dropped his guard, I struck him against the face so hard, I could've ripped his jaw off.

He spat blood onto the ground, and wiped his chin with his arm. Suddenly, he jumps at me and cracks my against the head. I could see him hold his hand as he winced in pain.

Shaking off the pain, I advance towards him, but he beats me to the kick and knocks me on to the ground.

He stands on my chest, peering down at my face and says, "Stop it! You're going to kill me! You're going to kill yourself."

"Oh, I'm counting on it." I shoot my arm out and grab his neck.

He scratches and wriggles to break free in vain. I can see the life start to drain out of his eyes as pieces of this reality begin to shatter.

"Stop... You're..."

Everything is suddenly so loud. I can feel my entire body begin to fail. I'm shaking.

I can see patches of the sky gone. Broken shards all over.

Before everything can go dark, I fall back and collapse.

****

I open my eyes and see nothing but the calm atmosphere. Everything seems to... To have fixed itself.

Wait- where is he?

I gasped and surveyed the vicinity, and I found him not too far from where I was. His head was hanging while he clenched his fists.

"I know what happened... I know why you're angry- but that's not any reason to be," he said, "Strange allowed me to see your recent past, my near future. The support... The moments... The notes..."

"I knew it wasn't going to be perfect, much less was it going to be easy."

"Look, I know you haven't come to terms with yourself and who you are either, but you need to take it one step at a time. It doesn't come to you quickly or fast... You know that."

"I was so proud of him... But I couldn't tell anyone because... Because then I'd be putting him in danger. So we settled for the facades we made about ourselves. Now..."

"I know... Maybe it doesn't hurt as bad for me because it hasn't happened yet on my end, but you did make him happy. You were true to your feelings. That's what really matters."

"I... I don't know what to do."

"All you can do stay is patient and hope for the best."

"I can't..."

He assured me, "Yes, you can... because you have them."

I faced him with a puzzled look, and he directed my attention directly behind me.

That's where I saw them... The ones who helped me get through the tough parts of life. The ones who were the reason why I fought for what's right.

"You still have your Avengers. And they're not going anywhere."

My friends.