Peter's Journal

Changes

**Uhhh.... Peter Parker stuff?

Alright, knowing the amount of homework I'm drowning in, I should be at my desk in my room catching up. I said I should be. Instead, I'm out here spinning threads and performing flips and contorting my body to gain momentum.

Why?

Well, I need to clear my mind. Honestly, I'm overwhelmed with everything going on.  Highschool isn't the same as middle school. I didn't have to always worry about villains coming to find me and put my loved ones in danger. I didn't have to worry that'd I'd screw up something because of this Spider-Man thing. I didn't have to worry about lying to protect others  I didn't have to worry about anything except focus on my education and be a great friend.

But it can't always be that way. Everything hasn't been the same after the spider bite. And then with the academic courses I'm taking, I really don't have any of my old friends with me. Yeah my best friend and significant other are there, and well... They're honestly kinda burned out because of their own things and I honestly need to hear other angles for advice.

Luckily, with this superhero thing going for me, I get to meet new people. Weird people, but nonetheless cool. Loki wasn't such a bad guy actually. Him and I had a talk about someone, and well, he sounded like an expert. Probably cause he's older than the dinosaurs for all I know. Experience is where I'm getting at.

But even when talking to a god with hundreds of years of experience... I can't say too much... Much less reveal my identity. So there's bits and pieces I have to leave out. Usually, I'm 'asking for a friend'.

He might also attack me and my loved ones if he knows my identity too.

My friends aren't completely gone, though. Every now and then, they'll say hi, but that's sorta rare. I mean, knowing how valuable I've show I can be (not very), no one talks to me. I'm the last choice at times. Not always. But I'm never the first choice.

However, when you disappear to fight bad guys constantly, leaving people hanging, it's only logical to be where you are, right? You come back and they expect you should have some reason you're acting the way you do and well.... You can't. They can't know.

For a while it builds up. Problems become an internal crisis that make you think your life is over... Then something good happens for a while and you forget about it.

Perhaps it's an endless cycle that I inflict on myself, but how do you get out of it?

I don't have the answer today. I probably won't get it tommorow, but eventually, I'll get it.

Looking over the bright, neon lights emitting from the buildings in Times Square, I think to myself, "Maybe I should just go draw... The swing didn't help."