Peter's Journal

Am I not supposed to have what I want?

The Bugle had antagonized me again. I fought Electro and stopped a bank robbery. My whole body hurts after so many volts being shot into me, I can still my skin burning. I clearly made sure the people knew that I was doing GOOD.

Instead this damn news paper had to make this garbage headline: Spider-Man and Electro? Working togetber to snatch cash like lightning?

As much as I need the money, I'd never do that. Much less partner up with some lunatic like Max Dillon. His brain's already so fried, all he's wired to do is rob banks and cause city wide power outages.

A paper slides in from under my door with a big red stamp that says, "OVERDUE."

Ah great! Just great! First I'm flunking my classes, now I'm about get evicted from my apartment if I don't make a payment.

"But with what money," I mumble, "I barely have enough money to afford milk."

I scrounge for coins in my sofa but find none.

"Guess I'm not eating again..."

The longer I spend in my apartment, the more frustrated I become. Everything just reminds me I'm screwing everything up.

I put on the mask and take my sketch book out for a swing. I search for a nice place to just sit down and unwind.

Luckily, after ten minutes, I settle down on an old 40's apartment complex. The sky's dark with a blue glow of the stars. It's a perfect place.

"GET THAT WALL CRAWLER OUT OF MY CITY." a voice shouted.

Without having to look down, I already knew who it was.

Jameson please screw off... I've had enough of you already.

Yet he didn't screw off. Instead he kept bickering and making accusations.

"YOU'RE THE REASON WHY THE CITY IS CONSTANTLY IN DANGER. YOU AND ONLY YOU, YOU FREAK!"

Don't push it Jonah...

"YOU MENACE! GET OUT OF MY CITY, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING-"

That's it!

THWIP!

I yank him up to where I'm standing and hold him by his collar. He grips onto me so he won't fall three flights down, but that won't make a difference.

"Listen, Jameson," I growled through my teeth, "I've been getting tired of your bullshit... You constantly slandering me and accusing me of things I have no responsibility for."

He whimpers. "I...I... I'm..."

"You're what? Sorry? After I finally do something about your news paper making my life a living hell?"

I can see the veins on his head popping out he continues to struggle.

"You have no idea what my life is like, Jonah. The things I've been through that because of you. The responsibility I have on my shoulders! Walk a day in my shoes and tell me how it feels to be treated like shit!"

I shook him as I yelled. Suddenly, he went limp.

A guy watching the whole entire situation unfold, shouts, "You killed him!"

Filled with sudden anxiety, I mumble out, "No... no.. I didn't... I didn't... He can't be-"

I crawl down the wall and place him on the ground. "I didn't do anything to him." I checked his cartoid pulse....

Nothing.

I hear the ambulance coming in the distance. Stuck trying to decide to stay or leave, more people start coming out to see what happened.

THWIP!

I make my way back to my apartment and throw the mask at the closet door. I shove my web shooters into the empty trash can along the rest of my costume.

I place my hands on my head and take breaths trying to hold back my mental break down.

I just wanted to scare him... Not kill him. I can't have that on my conscience... No I-

That's when my efforts went in vain.

Why do I have to keep my promise and do what's right at the expense of my own happiness? I've been saving lives and then getting bashed about it by people then the one time I finally do something I deserve... I kill someone without intending to...

Am I not supposed to have what I want?

***Yeah, life has not been great for the past few months and this is basically the only thing I can muster up to complain again.