Peter's Journal

I'm Not Giving In

**Hecc here's another one of these stories.

It's been more than a month since this thing came back to haunt me. I let it latch on and feed of my hate and anger, but I wasn't going to let it win. I wasn't going to let it beat me.

It gave me power to keep going. The anger... It made me feel like I could chuck a skyscraper into the ocean. Non stop adrenaline.

At first, it was fun drawing in the middle of the night. The illustrations I made... But then I ran out of drawing ideas. I just wanted to rest. I wanted to sleep, but the adrenaline kept me awake all night. I couldn't sleep. So I just lay there... Suffering from sleep deprivation.

The suit told me, "Go out and patrol." I took the suggestion, hoping that it would tire me out. I fought and webbed up thug after thug. I thought it was just at least 2 hours that I'd been out, until I saw the first sign of dawn. I rushed home and slept at least 10 minutes before I had to get ready for school.

And it happened repeatedly. Nights wasted fighting crime, raiding meth labs, involving myself in shoot outs, intercepting midnight bank robberies. Then I'd just swing back home to get ten to five minutes of sleep and back to school.

Days started to get longer. Schedules started getting packed. I couldn't do much. Homework accumulated. Family issues ramped up again... I just... I was so exhausted to the point where I felt like I was dying.

But I wasn't going to let it win. I wasn't going to tear it off because the symbiote always came back. I had to prove I wasn't going become its puppet. I could control it.

I fought off the fatigue and got through my day, did my homework to the best of my ability... Held up pretty well. Or so I thought.

The torturing cycle continued and people began to notice. The heavy breathing, lack of attention, refusal to eat, mumbling, increased aggression, lack of sleep...

Yet I kept saying I was doing alright when I was getting sick.

But I wasn't.

I was playing into the alien suit's hands.

I already lost.

I was already its puppet.

As I'm sitting in this empty examination room, the doctor's words echo in my head.

"Mr. Parker, if you don't take care of yourself, you're going to die."

I'm dying because of you.