Unexpected

Chapter 39

I woke up with a sore head. I reached over the bed and saw it empty. I looked over the clock and it read 9am. Evelyn would have been awake by now. I felt awful remembering yesterday's events. I had kissed another man. All because I couldn't cope with the fact I gave my baby away to my Mother in Law. I knew it was coming but it didn't make it any easier. I got out of bed and went straight to the shower. I got in and put it on freezing cold. I washed my hair and then I thought about my behaviour and how it must have made Cory feel. Tears began running down my face. I sunk to the floor and sat there crying. I couldn't even feel how cold the water was. I felt nothing.

"Jen... You in there?" a voice asked. I knew it was Cory. I didn't reply. I couldn't open my mouth to reply. 

"Jen please answer me," he said. Still I couldn't reply. 

The door opened and he came in and saw me slumped on the floor in floods of tears. He opened the shower door and he got in and he pulled me into his arms. I grabbed my tight and he pulled me out the shower "You'll catch hypothermia. The water is freezing cold," he said. He stood me up and grabbed a towel and he wrapped it around me to warm me up. We went into the bedroom and he sat me on the bed and he knelt down in front of me. 

"You're Mum has Evelyn. We need to talk don't we?" he asked me. 

I couldn't do anything. I sat there froze. Did he want to leave me? Was this the end for us?

All these thoughts just created more tears. He took my hand into his "Please don't cry. I don't like to see you upset," he said. 

I looked at him "I hate myself. I hate what I've done to you," I whispered. 

"You didn't know what you were doing. I get that," he said. 

"I cheated on you. I can't ever forgive myself for doing that. Since I gave birth well before then when we first got pregnant you've been by my side and I go and repay you by kissing some one else,"

"Yes I admit it hurt last night when you told me you kissed some one else but you're hurting Jen. More than you thought you would. I feel it to you know. When I held that baby yesterday I felt what you feel but I know I need to be strong for you," 

"But I can hurt without having to hurt you too," 

"I forgive you," 

"I can't forgive myself,"

"Please try,"

"Why aren't you angry with me? Why aren't you shouting at me and telling me you hate me for what I've done?"

"Because deep down I know you're hurting and that you never meant what you did. You're not well at the moment Jen,"

"I really am sorry. It's hard. So hard,"

"I know baby,"

I began crying again. He pulled me into his arms. I held him tightly "Right come on let's get you presentable. Emma is coming over in an hour to see you," he told me. 

He then got a comb and he brushed my hair through. He then got the hairdryer and he began drying it. I loved him so much. He was taking care of me even though I didn't deserve it. He dried my hair and he then went into my closest "What do you want to wear today?" he asked. 

"Anything,"

"Baby you've just given birth. Surely there is something that will feel more comfortable for you,"

"Joggers and a top or something," 

"Coming up,"

He brought out a pair of navy joggers and one of his t-shirts. After having Evelyn I spent days in his clothes. I smiled at him "You remember don't you?" I asked him.