We're Still On Fire (Katniss and Peeta)

Chapter 30

When Johanna returned with Willow and Rye we immediately went to bed. Katniss was really tired, she'd told me about what happened earlier. It was weird. It was very weird. People that we thought were dead suddenly turned up alive. First my uncle Matthew, and now Katniss and Johanna's dad's show up. It's even more coincidental, that all three guys that found each other in the woods, surviving with each other, turned out to be related to three people that know each other.

Katniss didn't sleep well. She was really tired, I think the hunting, (and the particularly amazing sex) had taken it out of her. She fell asleep as soon as we snuggled into bed, wrapped in each other's arms. But she didn't sleep for long. Her first nightmare was about two hours after she fell asleep.

"Shh, Katniss, it's okay, it's just a dream" I soothed, wrapping my arms around her and stroking her hair.

"She's - still - dead - though" Katniss sobbed.

She didn't say a name, but she didn't have too.

Before the war Katniss and I had nightmares about the games. But after that it changed.

For me it was about something happening to Katniss, Willow or Rye. Most of which were about Katniss due to the fact she was actually there when most of the things happened, I also had a lot of nightmares about my time getting tortured in the Capitol. My memories being destroyed by a burning venom. Hearing Johanna's screams, and occasionally Annie's fainter screams from a distance. Watching Darius and Lavinia being tortured to death. Feeling the piercing of a needle into my arm, and knowing that when it came out my thoughts would be even more jumbled than before, more shiny, that I'd hate Katniss even more that I had a minute ago. I also had the very infrequent nightmare of my family burning in the flames that destroyed District 12, or Finnick Odair (a really good person that was always there for me) dying.

For Katniss it was different. The majority of her nightmares revolved around, Prim (her little sister who she was willing to die for) getting killed by a bomb that may or may not have been co-designed by someone she'd considered as her best friend. She also has nightmares about me, Willow and Rye, most of these being about my time in the Capitol. She sometimes has nightmares about other people she witnessed dying, mainly Finnick, Cinna and Rue.

The second time she woke was about something Johanna had said earlier which clearly scared her.

I couldn't make out what else she was saying because she was crying so much, instead I just rock her gently in my arms, saying soothing things to her.

It was then I had a nightmare. It was during the war, and Katniss was talking to Boggs about something when my mind started to feel jumbled, I was having a hijacked episode, and dream me lunged at her, if grabbed my gun - which was loaded with blanks - and lifted it over my head, before anyone could stop me I cracked it down on her skull, again and again and again. Boggs is trying to restrain me, Katniss in unconscious, and I lift the gun above my head for the death blow. It cracks down on her skull just as Gale shoves me out of the way. It's then that I realise what I had just done. I'd just killed her.

I woke up gasping, Katniss tried to comfort me without much success. I feel her arms around me, as I start to calm down.

That was around 4.37am, so we gave up trying to sleep and walked downstairs, switching on the TV and laying in each other's arms. Less than 3 minutes later Johanna and Haymitch arrive. We should of expected that, since neither of them sleep much either, Haymitch only sleeps when it's light out, and Johanna only needs about 3 hours of sleep a night.

"Can't sleep either, huh?" Johanna asks

"Yeah"

"Nightmares?"