The Coalition of Sierra J. Rubenstein

AWW II: Nationals Part V

    My other problem was how friendly Sierra had been with the Rhode Island team we bowled against. Our two teams were talking during the party and they told us about tournaments coming up in the northeastern region. They wanted us to come out to join them, but our team never did. Some time during the party, Sierra obtained one of the Rhode Island players phone number. His name was Tim and he was 22 at the time of the tournament. This was his last season in the NDYA. Sierra must have gotten his number sometime when I left the party. Now I am going to jump forward a few days when I found out they had been messaging each other. I felt uneasy when Sierra told me she was messaging Tim. She never showed me what they were saying, but she told me what they were talking about. I was one subject that came up. Sierra was honest enough to tell me she was venting about me and just talking shit about how bad I was. The next subject was Tim inviting our team to a few survival tournaments in Rhode Island for a few days. Here is the thing, I was not invited. The reason that Sierra gave me was because I was a pissed off prick that would ruin a good time. Are you serious? I was upset with the situations I was in and how Sierra had been. I griped about it for a little bit when I heard Sierra was planning on going up there. Why should I not be pissed about this situation? She did not want me to be upset, but Sierra wanted to build up her social life because I killed it. I did make her delete all the numbers in her phone that were associated with drugs, so yes I KILLED the life of drugs with all the dealers and men she was manipulating. Sierra never went on the trip. She said Mickie bailed on the trip and decided not to go without her. How fucking sweet of her aunt to do. She did not even do it for me.
    Going back to Nationals, the story picks up the next morning once our team started to get ready for bed post party. I was the first one packed up and ready to leave the hotel with my parents. Before I went off to their room to let my parents know I was ready, I walked down the hall to see Sierra one last time. I was hoping to at least talk with her and help her pack up. I walked into the girls room, Sierra was not there. She was not completely packed. I asked Mickie and Ms.Bonnie where Sierra went to. They both told me Sierra just walked out, but she never said where she was going or if she was meeting anyone. They assumed she was going to see me. After hearing that, I lost all the color in my face. It was just one thing after another with Sierra on this trip. Now she takes off with the funny thing being is that Danny was quick to leave before me. I thought Danny had already left the hotel with his parents already in the rush he was. I left the girls room and started speeding down the hall back to my room. I grabbed my suitcase and continued speeding down the halls. Part of me was looking for Sierra and part of me was trying to find my parents to go home. I ran right into my parents who were heading to my room. "Hey we were just coming down to your room to see if your ready." said my mom.
"Joe, is everything alright?" asked my dad.
"Have either of you seen Sierra, she is not in her room and not packed up?"
My mom answered back, "Yeah, we just saw her at the pool talking with Danny".
My parents' room was right across from the pool area and could very well see if anyone was there. The pool was closed at the time so no one would be in that room for swimming. Why were they in there and what were they doing? I found out the next time I met up with Sierra. In the meantime, I lashed out in a moment of urgency. "Can we just go home? I want to put this weekend behind me".
My mom asked, "Don't we need to sign you out before we leave"?
"No, we can just go now".
"Are you going to say goodbye to everyone or at least Sierra"?
"I rather not...no one would care anyway".
I was one of the first bowlers to leave the hotel. I never said a word as I left. I spent the car ride quiet and withdrawn from the world. I can not remember exactly if I cried on the way home, but it felt like I was. I was fearing how I must have lost Sierra for good. Is it because I never answered my phone?
    It was a day or two before I would hear from Sierra again. She just started talking to me out of no where. Sierra acted like everything was normal. I was still holding on to my emotions from Nationals. We got to talking for awhile until I felt that there was no point in holding onto my feelings. I believe we scheduled a trip to Gunpowder Park for a little excursion with one another. This was our trip we spent relaxing on the beach together. It was on a day that was actually sunny and warm in Gunpowder. It was funny how we tried to throw each other around in the water when we were trying to adjust our body temperature to the cold water. We never brought and umbrella, so we would cover ourselves with extra towels as we laid holding hands together sunbathing. The day was wonderful until the ride back. I never asked many questions about Nationals, so the subject was not brought up earlier. While driving back, Sierra asked me to grab a napkin out of the glove box. As I opened the glove box, an envelope dropped out onto my lap. I asked Sierra about the letter and she replied back saying Danny had given it to her before she left Hagerstown. She tried to snatch the letter from me, but I quickly moved it out of her reach and exclaimed that I was going to read it out loud since she never opened it. The letter was two pages long and written on lined paper. Danny wrote out his undying love for Sierra even after their messy break up. He pledged to Sierra to make up for his past mistakes. Danny then went on to call me out. He explained that since I refused to step up as a man that He would be the man Sierra needed right now. Danny wanted to be the father regardless the child not being his. They will make it work and become of family. Danny lacked any care towards any threats I would make to him and to not let me see this letter.
    The anger in me grew. Danny crossed me with this letter. Then I was pissed about my fear of Sierra trying to run off with another man was transpiring. I could not believe she was still telling people I was not stepping up. I gave up resisting and decided to drop out of college for her (which was a community college at the time, so I would just stop signing up for classes). Sierra asked me how I felt about the letter as I sat in a quiet and angry state. I remember the rant I gave Sierra: "There is no way Danny is going to raise my baby. I don't care if you get back together with him or not, but I am going to raise MY god damn child. This little bitch has the fucking nerve to write you this letter. He is calling me out looking for a fight like he is some tough piece of shit. I'll take that little bitch down. Now I want to know, Sierra, why the fuck would Danny get the impression that I am completely gone from being the father to my child? I thought we worked things out, Sierra"!
This was where I learned what Sierra had been up to. She was talking to Danny about how she did not believe me that I would step up. She stilled had some feelings for him after that weekend since he was trying to make up for his past mistakes. She wanted to have someone there for her. I explained to her how she was pushing me away, but always expecting me to comeback. She was showing how she wanted to leave me, how she blamed me for her problems. The weird thing about the conversation was how Sierra changed. She loved what I said about the baby. She was trying to suppress my anger towards Danny, but what I said must have convinced her that I was onboard. It felt like a light switch went off in her head after my angry rant. From there on out, Sierra hated Danny again.