The Coalition of Sierra J. Rubenstein

Liberation Part III: Foreshadowing the New Year

    New Years was interesting this year. It was freezing outside in Salisbury and we did not feel up to going out to any party or celebration. We were tired and cold. I remember that I was not getting much sleep since Christmas Eve, that caused a splitting headache all week for me. Sierra and I decided to stay in our apartment for the night and bundled up. We just struggled to stay awake until midnight, but we managed to reach midnight. We had our kiss and made our wishes before immediately passing out in 2018. I know exactly what I wished for that night and it was just sad to me for wishing it. I wished to be happier in the new year. I think my mind was trying to set me straight on leaving Sierra. She had been treating me so poorly and turned my favorite holiday to a shit show. At this point in my life, I struggled the most being with Sierra. I was holding on hope that Sierra would go back to acting normal, like before we ever fought so much. I felt like I was the only one trying in the relationship. I was trying to make accommodations, I was trying to fix our problems, and I was trying to be a better boyfriend. I keep trying to find comfort in being away from Sierra when I went to class. My first semester was spent being accused of cheating because I was talking with other people. I was trying to find comfort with my class mates. I thought to study in the library to avoid Sierra for a fight. When we fought every other day, it started affecting my test grades and quizzes. Spending all night before anything major for my classes distracted me from the notes I was studying. I could not handle the stress of all night fighting before tests and spend the next day figuring out what to do to resolve our problem. Most of these fights were all the same, Sierra was mad at me for studying too much. Bitch, if I was studying too much then I should be getting straight A's instead of struggling in two difficult classes. I was unhappy with how my first semester of Salisbury went. Sierra made it worse than it actually was. If she supported me like she use to, there would have been less problems.
    My next set of classes were Biology lecture, Biology Lab, American Lit II, and Western Civilization II. I had to focus on my classes this semester since I was on academic probation. I felt like Sierra made my first semester very difficult for me when I was taking on some very advance literature classes. I was hoping that Sierra was going to hold off on fighting with me after any test days. Before I started my next semester, Sierra and her aunt Linda were talking about summer plans. Sierra was turning 21 this year and her successful aunt wanted to take her out on a special trip. Linda had a time share down in Cancun and was will to pay for our plane tickets to Mexico. The problem I was facing was first with my class schedule. I had no idea when my finals were and the week Linda had fell in the grey period of either being on my week off or on a final(s). The day they asked me about Cancun was the same day Linda was buying the tickets. Sierra was hassling me for an answer. I of course told Sierra that I did not have a definitive date on my finals and would have to wait until next week to get all my schedules. Sierra wanted an answer other than me telling her I do not know. I thought hard about about the dates for the end of the semester and started getting the suspicion that I would not be able to go. I told Sierra how I probably could not go; she did not take my new response well. Sierra continued to talk me into the trip. I kept asking them for a week so I could check on when all my finals were. Sierra actually started making me feel bad for refusing to go, like I was letting her down in some way. Sierra seemed to start hinting that she was going to leave me if I did not go, that was the impression I was getting. I thought on one hand I can get a free trip to leave the country again; the other hand I did not pay for my ticket if I could not go. I finally agreed after a five minute standoff of Sierra pressuring me to say yes. My second problem with the trip was Sierra actually going on it. She lacked worldly and cultural knowledge of Mexico and their language. Worse of all is that I believed she would not go on the plane. Sierra still freaks out on kiddie roller coasters, so how would she get on a plane? Sierra actually addressed this concern by planning to get a few drinks in the airport first. From what I know about Sierra is that she needs to be hammered to keep her anxiety at the bare minimum (she has had anxiety attacks while hammered, but it is rare). They will not let Sierra on the plane in an intoxicated state like that. I just had no expectations for this trip to occur. Her father already scared her when she told her parents about the trip. Her father made a comment about planes crash land a lot and she believed it. I again I tried to tell her the truth since I am the boyfriend with 36 hours of flights under my belt. This is the continued bullshit I have put up with from Sierra and it frustrates me.
    An update for bowling is that George was coming back from his suspension around this time. He was being accused of cheating during pre-bowling and had no way of proving his innocence and took the few weeks off instead of fighting it any longer. George was gone for a few weeks and returned. Our team was actually doing well. We were winning games and having fun doing so. I have never seen my team bowl so competitively in my life. On Sierra's side of things, her team was falling in the standings fast. Hard to believe that they have one of the best bowlers in the league on their team. Jordan is the baseball equivalent of Manny Machado, same temper too. The problem on Sierra's team was not a complete lack of production from Jordan, but the issue was everyone else. Abby showed up bipolar every week. She would show up one week depressed and tanked the match, next week she was distant from everyone and would take off during the match, then she could show up another week full of energy and distracted by her boyfriend. Sierra, Mickie, and Mason were in this odd love triangle. Mickie use to date Mason a year ago and Mickie began to have feelings for him again. Mason was after Sierra thus pissing Mickie off. Sierra loved the flirting, but hated how much of a mama's boy and a dick Mason was. Sierra has the weird relationship with Mickie. Mason was also flirting with Mickie too. Sierra was trying to be friendly with Jordan (probably too friendly), but he was ignoring her. Sierra was getting mad at everyone for how they were all acting. Jordan was not having fun with the bullshit going on, so he stopped excelling. Jordan was only happy when George and I came over to talk with him. Jordan started sitting away from his team during this season. Does this sound familiar to anyone, because I can see the parallelism with me and Jordan. This was the moment I realized the difference between fun and successful seasons with Sierra.