The Coalition of Sierra J. Rubenstein

The End Part II:

    The weekend before our birthdays was the most heart wrenching three days for me. Sierra brought up her "plan" for the weekend on the Wednesday. Sierra wanted to take the weekend to spend a day with her "old friends" and the other two for party planning with her mom and aunt. Again I brought in logic to see what I could figure out. I asked Sierra why she could not group text or call her mom and aunt about the party details. Her response was how they could not agree on anything. Sierra needed to sit down with them in person to talk it out. That kinda defeats the purpose of modern technology. Like I said earlier, I was tired of fighting. I knew she was giving me more bullshit, but I was finished. Sierra was so excited to finally be going out with her "friends" for once. That was what she was looking forward to. The icing on the weekend was Sierra's strange demand to me. She did not want me to be following her around or trying to meet her. Her reason was because she did not want me to figure out what she was getting me or the surprise they were planning for me. If that was not foreshadowment for what she was truly doing, then I do not know what it is. We parted ways on that Friday. I left early after my history class, so I managed to hit the bay bridge before it closed for a few hours. Sierra did not leave work until six when the bridge was still closed. She got all the way down there just to find that it was closed and needed to wait. Instead of turning back around and heading to our apartment for the night, she decided to go all the way back and up through Delaware just to avoid the bridge. Sierra was stuck in traffic all night long. Sierra did not drive into Delaware until 10 at night. When I first talked with Sierra, she was stuck out of state by midnight. Sierra did not make it to Baltimore until four in the morning. Thank goodness Sierra did not have Buttercup with her. Funny thing is that Sierra did not want Buttercup on her weekend. The dog was too much of an inconvenience n her epic weekend. At least Buttercup loves it at my parents house with her two uncles to play with. For someone that claims to be such focused on the principle of Karma, did she not see the universe give her a sign for what would eventually happen in an ironic fashion.
    I never did listen to Sierra's demand for no contact with her. Like a caring boyfriend, I messaged her to see if she made it to Baltimore safely with the Bay Bridge closed. That was how I found out she was stuck in traffic after she turned around and took the long way around the bridge. What Sierra did not realize was the bridge opened shortly after her turning around. She could have saved all that time if she waited. I do not feel sorry for her being in that traffic now that I am looking back on it. At that time, I was sympathetic for having to endure the horrible traffic. I asked her to text me when she got to her parents house and did not see the message until I got up for bowling. Sierra decided to skip bowling that Saturday. I decided to go out with George for bit just to hangout with someone other than Sierra. I called up Sierra after bowling when George and I hopped into my car. I actually woke her up at one in the afternoon. She was trying to catch up on sleep from the ride so I said my goodbye and that I loved her before carrying on with my day. I remember later that night my mother talking to me about Sierra. I was talking about our issues. My mother asked if she was trying to leave me, but I replied saying Sierra would not do such a thing. If she did not leave me then, she would not leave me now. I had my suspicions late Saturday night through Sunday. What I did not state from our brief phone call on Saturday was how Sierra told me she worked out the details of the party with her family in minutes before I called her. Remember how Sierra used her aunt and mom as her excuse to spend the weekend down at her parents? Sierra concludes it as they worked it out over the phone. I was incredibly on edge for believing something bad was happening. I did not want to act on my impulses, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I promised myself not to jump to conclusions without evidence to support it. That is why I have not acted out in suspicious times, I want proof to justify any confrontation.
    Sunday rolled around and I decided to head home early with Buttercup. Sierra texted me about how horrible her weekend was, so I decided to go home early to meet her expecting her to be there. After the hour and a half drive, I found that Sierra was not home. Me and Buttercup went about our day as we waited for Sierra to come home. I really missed seeing her and just being around her. I will admit around 9pm, I was really horny waiting for Sierra. I had to start getting ready for bed around ten. I still had class in the morning and I was losing faith that Sierra was coming home that night. It was not until eleven at night was when Sierra's car pulled up to the apartment. I sat up on the futon and waiting with Buttercup for Sierra to come in. We sat eagerly waiting for Sierra to walk out of the car. That was my first clue for something wrong. After she took a few minutes to step out, Sierra finally walked through the door. I stood there with a smile on my face and my arms ready for a hug. Before I could take a step towards her, Sierra began crying sticking her arm out to stop me. It was like she knew I was ready to jump on top of her and get a little frisky. Sierra cried out to me saying that we needed to talk right now or else she could not go through with it. I did not know what "it" was, but the mood was certainly killed. Sierra walked past Buttercup without giving her any attention to sit me down on the futon. I was starting to get the impression of what Sierra was going to tell me. Sierra told me, "I can't do this anymore. I can't live here in Salisbury".
I was immediately confused by what she first said along with the sensation of melancholy. I was expecting the break up talk. It could have been what she was trying to do, but the conversation did not go exactly like that. I asked Sierra what was wrong and she replied all the things she hated about Salisbury. Stuff about the apartment, money problems, people, having no friends, and hated her job came up. Her rant flowed into complaints about me. This was when I started crying. She told me how I was not understanding, abusive, and she did not want to wait for me. What she meant by that last one was she did not feel like waiting for me to get a degree for a career, she wanted to get her degree now instead waiting for me to support her. I will talk about her education in a later chapter. Sierra was just spotting off things that you would find on a list of common reasons why girls leave their boyfriends. I was upset because she was saying how she was moving out, but I was really upset about the lies on me. I was expecting her to say that she was breaking up with, I was under that impression the whole time. That is why I kept repeating "why" and "after everything we've been through".
Not once did Sierra say that we were breaking up in her rant. She kept asking me how I felt and what I was going to do. The crazy thing is that she asked me those questions multiple times. How do you think I feel after the first time I told you I feel horrible? And why ask me what I am going to do next? What are you expecting? I was getting the impression that Sierra either wanted me to break up with her or she wanted me to fight for her. The second time she asked those questions, I stopped shedding anymore tears. That was the quickest fit of crying I have ever done. I never answered Sierra's questions, but I asked her a few more of my own questions. I asked about Buttercup, the rest of her stuff, and about us. I will break these down one at a time. Sierra said she did not want Buttercup because "...she never loved me (Sierra) anyways". You wanted Buttercup. You expected this dog to love you unconditionally, but you put little to no time in giving Buttercup any love. For someone who claimed daddy did not love her enough by not showing any attention, she is pretty quick on continuing the cycle rather than breaking it. Looking to back on all the times she begged me for a dog and how we got Buttercup; it is ridiculous. Moving to the vast amount of items Sierra had in our apartment. Sierra was going to keep all her belongings in the apartment. She did not want to cancel our lease. Sierra was going to make this work on bringing me the money for rent. Her idea was to leave me, but keep all her stuff in the apartment. Now about us. As I felt like our conversation was whining down at the two hour mark, I asked the pressing question if Sierra was trying to break up with me. Instead of giving me a direct answer of yes or no, Sierra gave me a bullshit line that she always gave me. Her reply went as such: "Well, do you want to break up"?
Of course I did not want to. We have been together for three years, I did not want everything we have been through to go away in one single night. Does anyone see where Sierra is going with this conversation? She stayed perfectly quiet for once in the conversation waiting for me to follow up my reply of how I did not want to break up. I suggested long distance to which Sierra replied, "How can we make that work"?
"As long as you still love me, we can always find a way".
Sierra told me how she still loved me and we agreed to keep our relationship to long distance. Sierra grabs my suit case that I brought from my parents' home for the Cancun trip and began packing up a few days worth of clothes. She got up to leave the apartment in order to drive back to her parents house, so she claimed.