The Coalition of Sierra J. Rubenstein

AWW III: May

Back in February, I received my admission papers for Salisbury. Everyone around me was happy for me, for the most part. It was not until May that an issue emerged between Sierra and I. I believe it started because the realization of me moving two hours away did not sink in until May. There was now cause for this outburst that could cause Sierra to be upset, other than me being accepted. Sierra was overall short-tempered and cynical. She had stop doing any chores around the house and getting on me for not doing them. Sierra believed that she worked too much to do chores around the house. I was left to clean her plates, cups, and snack foods from my room. She rarely ate food at the kitchen table as she normally confined herself to my room. Sierra claimed she would take out the trash and do the dishes "next time", but it never came up. Kept neglecting cleaning the bathroom too. Once she moved into my parent's house, I did notice how lazy she really was; but it grew worse coming into May. My mother finally blew up on her for not pulling her weight. Sierra fired back, but not directly to my mom. Nope, Sierra yelled at me to yell at my mom. I snapped back and told her to clean the god damn bathroom and stop pushing it off for me to do. Most nights when I came home from work, I was normally met with her pouting in my room ready to fight with me. I was not being loving enough or caring for her. She brought this up because she was too lazy for her chores.
Once my last semester at AACC came to an end, Sierra's outbursts of anger revealed the core of her disdain: she was really upset with me leaving her for Salisbury. Sierra would not be able to see me everyday, she would have to move back with her parents, and she did not trust me to be faithful if we stayed together. The last one is the one that hurt me the most. She had the nerve to tell me that she did not trust me to not leave her nor cheat. In her words, "how do I know if you end up meeting someone better than me and just lead me on after"?
I reassured her that I have never given her any reason to stray. I still wanted to be with her, but she was pushing to break up since I would not be around often and she did not feel like driving 3 hours to see me. At this moment, Sierra was either wanting the break up or baiting me to ask her to come with me. The sobbing and the crying how she did not want to break up convinced me at the time to ask the question...which started a series of fights. I did not immediately ask Sierra to come with me. I discussed this with Sierra. It is a big step to move in with one another and I did not feel comfortable to ask Sierra to uproot her life to come with me. I did not want to lose her or have her return home to face her father. These were the talking points that we went over day after day, but it always resulted in Sierra pouting in silence when she did not hear me ask her. She never stormed out in these discussions. I think I hurt her feelings the last time she stormed out on me. I called her a child that could not be in a relationship or face her problems. At least she was not running anymore. It took almost a week before we resolved the issue. We started talking about Salisbury again on a Saturday during the summer. Sierra kept telling me how she would not be upset if I only asked her. Sierra had me under the impression she was going to say no when I asked her. Sierra said "yes". Sierra told me how she had no friends, a job she wants to leave, family that she does not want to see. Her life completely revolved around me. I was touched to hear someone actually saying how much I mean to them. I just did not say anything against it, I thought this could be real for me. I will not be alone moving to a new area and I can stay with the woman I love. I told Sierra if she was truly serious about coming with me, then she needed to help find a place to live.
Since Sierra was on board with the move, I expected her to be on top of things. She was not. Sierra spent no time looking for apartments. She was too lazy and wanted me to do everything. I could have just picked a place on campus and left her behind, but I guess she did not believe I would do such a thing. I called a few places and ask my friend who owns a place down there, but had no luck. My last option was a town home style apartment complex called The Merrifield Apartments. I made Sierra call up the land lord to get information on rooms and such. Later on, that would be our home for the next year.