Blake and Aimee

Chapter 37: Aimee

This week has been hard. Blake hasn't been at school all week. I tried texting him, but he wouldn't respond. The karaoke night is tonight but I doubt he'll show. It's been held at a local pub and because Juan knows the manager, he'll keep it closed for the night for us. At least I won't have to worry about a bunch of random drunk people hearing me sing. But I really don't feel like going tonight. I feel tired and honestly, I just want to go read a book by myself and forget everything. But I'll go anyway of course, put a smile on my face and have a good time. Because it's better to face your battles with friends by your side, even if they don't know the battles you are facing; than to face them alone.

...

Juan found us some rooms out the back to get ready, like we are ultra-famous superstars or something. I'm not going doing anything fancy though, but Juan had his case of glitter eyeshadow to go just in case. I take a deep breath and stare into the small mirror sitting on a desk. I hear someone come up to door, I turn toward it thinking it was Juan. But instead I see Blake standing at the door, he's wearing his beanie and he has his guitar in his hand.

"Hey." I nod slowly. Trying to push back the memories out of my head. "Look I just wanted to-"

"Blake I can't do this right now." I lean over the desk trying to compose myself. I close my eyes to stop the tears. I can't let myself break in front of him. Not when I know what he's going through, the hell he faces every day. "I will, I will talk about it. I want to, I just can't... I can't tonight." Aimee looks up, he nods slowly.

"I get it. That's fine. Good luck, I'll be watching." He turns to walk out and over his shoulder he says, "Aimee I'm really sorry." Then he walks away.

...

So the show starts. Blake is sitting at the far end of the room. Juan introduced the show and then proceeds to sing "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper. He killed it. Sure, he was completely out of tune, but the rainbow tights and glitter eyeshadow totally made up for it. Leeah sang "Everything Is Shit Except My Friendship with You" by Ball Park music. She couldn't finish the song because she started crying halfway through, poor thing is having a hard time at the moment with her family. Nadia sang "Big Jet Plane" by Angus and Julia Stone, one of my absolute favourites. Casey sang "Loosen Up My Buttons" by Pussycat dolls. She made a series of quite revealing and sexually orientated gestures Blake's way which made me feel a little uncomfortable. She doesn't do it on purpose, she's always been like that really. Very...open. But it's hard when she's so much prettier than me. I feel if Blake looks at her too much, he'll stop looking at me. And I fear that the most. I fear ill lose him, I fear I've lost him. Casey finishes and it's my turn. I feel so nervous. But not because I know I'm not a great singer. It's because this time Blake isn't with me, he's watching me, and I am so worried as to what he will think. I hear the music play, I grab hold of the microphone and sing.

I was made to love her, been working at it

Half of my life, I've been an addict

But she's been good, to me

God I'm shaking everywhere. I can't breathe, I can't think. I close my eyes trying to compose myself, to calm myself down. To make my anxiety go away. I keep singing in hopes of distracting myself.

As far as I can tell she's happy, living with her Macky

So please don't take, my love, away

Let my baby stay

I feel my eyes burning, I open them unexpectedly and they fall onto Blake's face. He's frowning, concerned, but there is something calming about him all the same. Suddenly I can breathe, I sing the rest of the song and everyone claps at the end. I walk off stage as he walks towards the steps. He looked like we went to say something, but Juan called him up and so he smiled shortly and went up. I sit down in one of the middle rows, but off to the side where I hope not to be noticed. Blake stands up on the stage, swings his guitar over his shoulder. Blake doesn't need music, he's talented enough to make his own. He starts to play.

She is the sweetest thing that I know, you should see the way she holds me when the lights go low

Instantly I look up. Tears start falling down my face all of a sudden. He turns towards me, looking straight at me.

Every night I'll kiss you you'll say in my ear, oh we're in love aren't we

Hands in your hair, fingers and thumbs baby

I can't help but smile and just like that the world disappears, there is just him. Singing. And it's beautiful

I feel safe when you're holding me near, love the way that you conquer your fear

You know hearts don't break around here

I start sobbing like an idiot but keeps singing. The amount of times I have listened to that song and I felt like it was being sung to me. Like the song was made for me, like there was someone out there who would love me like that. And I think, I'm not sure, but I think I found him.

And I found a love in the eyes, arms of a woman I know

He starts to walk down the stairs off the stage, making his way towards me. I feel my heart race as he sings.

She is the lighthouse in the night that will safety guide me home

He makes his way around the lines of chairs, I start crying again.

And I'm not scared of passing over, or the thought of growing old

As he comes over to me I can see he's been crying too.

So for now until I go...

Now he's standing in front of me. I put both my hands on his face and kiss him slowly. Everyone starts cheering. We pull away laughing. He raises an eyebrow.

"You didn't let me finish the song." I bite my lip.

"Why? You hate that song." Blake sighs.

"I don't hate it."

"You don't like it." He nods.

"True. But get it. I understand what he means. Aimee, I love you so much." He reaches for her hand and holds it tightly. "I was a fool to try and ignore it, but Aimee I love you more than words can say. I love you so much I think it's going kill me, yet it feels like it's the only thing that is keeping me alive at the same time. And I'm so sorry." He wraps his arms around me. I take it all in, everything about him. The feel of him, the smell of him. Everything. Because he is mine, and I am his. And nothing is going to change that. Because he is right, hearts don't break around here.

c