Blake and Aimee

Chapter 49: Aimee

"So, you and your Dad are good now?" I lay on the bed and stare at the ceiling, Blake called me and said he went to the beach with his Dad. How the two of them are fixing things.

"Not exactly, but we are both on the same page now with everything; where we stand with what's going on, how we feel about it and whatnot. And that's a start." I don't respond for a minute. "Aimee you there?"

"Right sorry yeah." His voice grows concerned.

"Aimee are you alright?" There is no point trying to hide it from him.

"Yeah I just, I keep thinking about my Mum. She makes me so anxious whenever I talk to her, she's so controlling I feel like I can't breathe. But she my mum. And the sad truth is we just don't know how long we have left."

"Yeah that be true."

"Have you seen the movie Remember Me?" Blake laughs.

"Probably not."

"Well it's about this guy whose life has pretty much turned to shit, his brother committed suicide, his parents divorced and all he really has left is his younger sister. Anyway, he meets this girl and asks her out as a part of a bet his friend made. The two of the end up falling and love and in the end everything seems happy for the most part. Then he goes to his father's office, but his dad isn't there yet so he says he'll wait in the building. His father's office was in one of the Twin Towers. He was in there when the terrorist attack happened."

"Well that's a depressing plot twist."

"But that's just the thing. It's like you said really, we just don't know how long we have. Yes, you have cancer. But tomorrow I could wake up and get in my car and die from a tragic car accident. We just don't know what is going to happen from moment to moment and its terrifying." Blake laughs.

"I'm dying, quite literally and you are panicking about the concept more than me. It makes no sense."

"No, it makes perfect sense. You have known this was coming for a while now, you have been mentally preparing yourself for the moment in which you leave this world and everyone you care about. Unlike everyone else, who naturally assume they are going to live long healthy lives and don't think twice about dying."

"I think I'd rather not know, and live oblivious to the fact that my life would be taken away from me in some tragic accident. At least you don't have the thought bearing over you. So you die, well you die. That's it, I have never believed in God, so I don't believe there is an afterlife. But Aimee you need to stop worrying yourself. You need to think like you have the rest of your life ahead of you otherwise you will never achieve anything if you are too afraid of what's around the corner. You need to live. Which means taking risks and doing things that are scary. That's how you find what makes you happy in life." I laugh. "What is it?"

"You sound so wise, like a little old Yoda."

"Listen to me, you must, young Jedi." We both laugh.

"I love you Blake." He sighs.

"I love you too Aimee. And go talk to your mum. Try and sort things with her because you are right, we never know just how much time is left for us. And you know you'll regret it if you don't."

"Okay then, sleep well Blake." He hangs up. I lay on my bed for a while before picking up my phone. I have to dial the number because I never saved it into my contacts. It rings for some time and I go to hang up, when I hear a voice.

"Hello?" For a second I freeze, I don't know what to say. But I put the phone to my ear anyway.

"Hey Mum, do you have a sec? I wanted to talk to you."

...

So, I talked to my mum. I told her everything. About her moving away, why I didn't want to live with her. My anxiety, how I was doing with school. I told her about Blake too. She said he sounds really nice, and she's glad he's good to me. I told her he is the best thing that has happened to my life. In short form, if these past six months have taught me anything, it's that life is short. Too short. Too short to live with regrets or unresolved conflict.

My feelings towards my mother haven't changed, nothing has changed as such. But maybe, one day, we will change. We might grow even further apart, and I'll lose contact altogether, or we may grow really close. Have a proper mother-daughter relationship again. Who knows? I guess only time will tell.

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