[Completed] Mackenzie Ziegler, lives a dark life. She's consumed by her overpowering depression. Johnny Orlando, her ex-best friend, wants to know her deepest secrets as he still immensely cares for her. But, her anger will continue to drive them ap...
Mackenzie's POV The weekend was so much fun. It was filled with stupid jokes, laughs and movie nights. Me and John hung out together and I enjoyed it. I finally got to see the real Johnny after being away from him for so long. After everything, he still makes my heart flutter and somehow manages to make me blush. As I think of Johnny, I have a shower and brush my teeth. I hate Mondays. I went downstairs and ate a few bits of cereal. Lauren will be so proud! I ran upstairs and quickly get changed.
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I never wear pink, but after a good weekend I felt like it. Maybe it's the beautiful feeling of love? I grab my bag and walk to Laurens house. I knock on the door and wait for Lauren. J: Hey Kenz! K: Hey Juan! K: Where's Lolo? J: Oh. Brandon came round and Lauren walked with him. K: Aww! Lauren's first boyfriend! Landon! J: Well I have to approve first K: Aww! You're overprotective! That's cute! He looks away and his cheeks had a red tint to them. I giggle. K: Are you blushing? J: No! Its rosacea! J: Wanna walk to school? K: Sure! We walk to school, laughing all the way. Johnny's hand finds mine and I let him hold it. I tried to push the butterflies away yet I still blushed. We arrived at the gates and I see Lauren and Brandon laughing together. They both were blushing messes and I swear I heard Lauren giggle. K: Aw! Look at these two! J: Yeah! Look at these two! J&K: Landon! L: Shut up Jenzie! I roll my eyes yet unfortunately I still blushed. Looking over, I see Johnny do the same. Wait? He's blushing? Why? I smile and look down. Johnny squeezes my hand and gives me a smile, before walking off to his classroom. Brandon blushes before leaving Lauren. I giggle and Lauren squeals. K: You guys are so cute! L: Gosh stop! Oh by the way, you won't see me till tomorrow. I have a dentist appointment. Sorry!
K: That's fine Laur! I mean, I guess I can make an exception. You have to get your pearly whites perfect for Brandon!
L: Shut it! She playfully slaps my arm and blushes. ———————————————————— The day went on as usual. Boring lesson and lesson. After school, I walk to my locker and see Nadia approaching me. I roll my eyes and hesitantly close my locker. Johnny also sees Nadia and walks over too. He smiles and grabs my hand. Warning strong language Nadia: Hey bitch! J: Watch it Turner N: Whatever Orlando K: What do you want Nadia? N: Just wanted to remind you that Hayden hates you and doesn't want someone ugly loser hanging around him. J: I'm guessing you looked in the mirror then? K: Whatever! Just go away Nadia! N: Not so fast bitch! I just wanted to ask what Hayden saw in you. I mean you're nothing! Hahaha J: Talk about yourself Nadia. I'm the idiot for dating someone so pathetic as you! N: Why are you defending her? She's just a fat, ugly, worthless, piece of shit! I run off, tears streaming down my face. Ignoring Johnny's calls, I run faster and faster, more and more tears streaming down my face. I get home and rush upstairs. !!WARNING!! !!VERY VIOLENT SCENE!! !!CUTTING AND BLOOD INVOLVED!!
I rummage through my drawer and desperately grasp a razor. My hands were shaking like crazy. I bring it to my wrist and slowly cut it. The stinging pain causes me to yell out in pain. The words of Nadia ring in my ears. I bring the razor to wrist once more and cut again. Blood had covered my entire hand and was now seeping onto my jeans and on the bathroom floor. My hands were stained red. This time the pain was bearable. I took a pained, deep breath and brung the razor to my wrist once more. I press it against my skin, waiting to cut through. The door bursts open and I flinch, dropping the bloody razor on the floor. I look up and see green eyes staring at me. Uh oh. It was Johnny. He was breathing fast and his face dropped once he saw me. I look away, unable to face him. He rushes over and grabs the razor, throwing it away. Frantically, he takes off his hoodie and attempts to wipe away the bloody mess. I wince in pain. He looks up at me and I look in his eyes. Tears were threatening to fall and I looked down. He held the hoodie tightly to my wrist, attempting to stop the bleeding. Carefully, he helps me stand up and brings me to the sink. Without uttering a single word, he just washes off the blood with caution. He avoids looking at me and I feel more tears falling from his eyes. He opens the cabinet and grabs some bandages. Carefully, he wraps my wrist. After bandaging my cut, he cleans it up and walks out. I leave the bathroom and go to my room. Johnny was sat on the bed, his head in his hands. I heard faint, soft cries. My throat closed up. Slowly, I walk over and sit next to him, more and more tears falling. J: Why Kenz? How, why would you do this to yourself? What if...what if I lost you? He looked up at me and he looked so hurt. So broken. Tears fall from his eyes and I shakily wipe them away. He looks at me and so do I. I look down and begin to sob. I felt a warm embrace and I rested my head on his chest as I cried and cried. I pull away and Johnny instantly hugs me back. My fragile body in his protective, strong arms. He pecked my forehead and I smiled, the tears crinkling my face. He interlocked our hands together.
J: Kenzie? What are you doing? I can't lose you K: I'm... I'm sorry John. I really am J: Is this what you and Lauren were talking about? K: Yes but J: But? K: Turn around I wipe my tears away and take a deep breath. Hesitantly, I take off my sweatshirt and my jeans. I look at my scarred body. Cuts were covering both my legs and my arms. My stomach was super flat and I was relieved. I wasn't fat anymore. K: John? You can um turn around He turns around and gasps once he sees me. Tears fall from my eyes once again and I hug my body with my arms. I look up and see Johnny's tear stained face. My heart broke inside. He ran his fingers over all the cuts on my arms. My body tingled at his touch. He slowly pulls my arms away from my stomach and gasped upon the sight. J: Kenz. You're so skinny, how, are you not eating? I take a deep breath and slowly nod. J: Kenz no. So many cuts, why? I continue to cry. They keep falling and falling as if I had an infinite supply. He hugs me and I hug back. We stood there, teary messes and in each other's arms. He pulled away and kissed all my cuts on my arms. My skin burned at the touch of his lips. I smile and he smiles back. I grab my jeans and sweatshirt and put them on. I sit on the floor and Johnny slumps down next to me. He grabs my hand and I rest my head on his shoulder. I move closer to him and he wraps his arm around my waist. We sit there, not knowing what to say. K: I'm sorry Johnny. You weren't meant to find out this way J: Why would you even do something like this Kenzie? K: I do it because I deserve it John J: What are you talking about? Kenz, you don't deserve this pain, this hurt K: I do. One cut for every word Nadia called me. Why would she say it if it isn't true? J: Because she's jealous. You are so beautiful and sweet and kind. The room lights up when you smile. Don't listen to her Kenz. Because she's jealous and stupid and clearly horrible. He smiles at me and pulls me into a tight hug.
K: Thanks John. I don't deserve you J: Shut it Ziegler. It's the other way around I chuckle and he smiles. My cheeks burn up as I look down at the floor. J: Can you promise me something? K: What is it? J: That you won't cut again Kenz. And you'll start eating again, properly I take a deep breath and smile. K: I promise Johnny. I Mackenzie Frances Ziegler, truly promise you Johnny Vincent Orlando that I will never cut and that I will start to eat properly again J: Wow. You said your full name Ziegler. I'm honoured I giggle and rest my head on his shoulder once more. K: Can you promise me something John? J: Anything Kenzie K: Promise me that you'll never leave me. That you'll always be by my side and that you'll always be there for me J: Of course Kenzie. I promise. I Johnny Vincent Orlando promise you Mackenzie Frances Ziegler, that I'll never leave you, stay by your side and to always be there for you He gently kissed my hand and I blushed profusely. I hugged him and we stayed there. In each other's arms.
Hey guys! Just to clarify, if you are re-reading this book and notice that this chapter has changed, it is because I am editing all my books! I edited this chapter and rewrote it slightly to make it better and more cute! Just to let you guys know! ❤️
