Together is enough // phanfiction

Part 10

Dan

After he quit the team Dan took Phil to get ice coffee. He planned on asking Phil more about his dad. They walked a bit and found themselves in a park, taking place on a bench. 

"Is it good?" Dan asked. 

"Huh?" Phil looked up. 

"Your ice coffee, is it good?" "Oh, yes, thanks." Phil seemed kinda absent. 

"Hey, are you alright?" Dan gently poked him with his elbow.

"Yeah, just... just thinking about how I'm gonna tell my dad..." 

"What makes you think he will be disappointed?" Dan took a sip from his coffee, trying not to put too much pressure on Phil.

"Because, he is... he always is. Me quitting the team is just proving his opinion on me."

"What opinion is that?" 

Phil looked down, hesitating. "That I'm... that i'm weak, not a real man." Dan shook his head, "How do you know he thinks that?" 

"Eh, cause he like tells me all. the damn. time. Man up Phil, a real man does sports, a real man doesn't spend his time playing video games, a real man knows how to stand up for himself, a real man..." Phil's voice broke. Dan put down his coffee and moved closer to Phil, putting a hand on his shoulder. "He doesn't pay attention to me unless I have something useful to say, which, according to him, I don't." 

Dan saw Phil was struggling to hold back tears. "I'm so sorry Phil. I didn't know..." 

Phil shook his head. "Worst part is, I know he's right. I'm not a man. I can't stand up for myself. I can't... I'm not a real man. I am weak." 

"No no, Phil..." Dan put his arm around him, "Don't let him define who you are. You don't have to meet his standards in order to be a "real man"." Dan made air quotes. "You are who you are, and that is enough." Dan put his hand on Phil's jaw, forcing him to look Dan in the eye. "You don't have to be who he wants you to be, you can be your own person."

For a few seconds their faces were only inches apart, Dan could feel Phil's breath on his face which gave him chills down his neck. He let go of his jaw and moved just a bit away. Phil looked back down. "That's easy to say but if your own father doesn't even care about you... I want him to care you know?" 

Dan nodded. "When did this start?"

Phil sighed. "I guess, he always knew I wasn't really what he wanted to be, but he really knew when..." Phil hesitated, looking at Dan in the corner of his eyes. 

"It's okay, you can tell me." Dan said reassuring. 

Phil took a deep breath, "When I was fourteen he caught me... watching..." Phil looked at Dan again, while he started to blush. "watching two guys, you know." Dan just nodded, not wanting Phil to feel more uncomfortable. "That was the first time he... like eh... hit me." 

Dan's eyes widened. "Sorry what?! He hits you?!!"

"No! well yeah sort of, no not like beating or something." Phil said while gesturing at Dan's stomach. "More like... pushing something, or like punching my arm, nothing serious."

"Phil, that is really serious." Dan said, still really shocked. "That is not okay." 

Phil let out a little grin. "That's what I said about your stomach, but you're not doing anything about that are you?" Dan didn't know what to say to that. "Look I love my dad, I do. He just has a temper. And it doesn't happen like often or something. It's fine, really Dan. I'll manage." 

Dan looked down, shaking his head. He still had no idea what to say to this. He couldn't imagine a parent hitting their child. But then again, he got beaten up by his ex boyfriend every few weeks and didn't tell anyone about it. In a way he felt connected to Phil. Their situations were completely different, but somehow sort of the same. 

"Dan? You still with me?" Phil waived his hand in front of Dan's face. Dan snapped out of it. "Yeah... yeah I'm sorry." Dan rubbed his face with both his hands. 

"Are you okay?" Phil asked. He is worried about me? 

"Yeah, I just... I want to help you. I don't know how." 

Phil shrugged. "I don't think you can. I mean, listening helps. I've never told anybody this." 

Dan looked up, surprised. "Really? Never? Why me?" 

Phil looked down at his hand in his lap. "Well, I don't know, I've never had the opportunity to talk to someone in this way, and... I feel like I can trust you." Phil said. 

"I feel the same." Dan smiled. 

Phil

After Dan walked Phil home they hugged shortly and said goodbye. While watching him walk back home Phil realized he was seriously starting to develop a crush on this guy. While smiling he walked up to his front door. He had never felt like this before, about anyone. It felt amazing.

He pushed the door open. "Hello?!" He yelled through the house. He turned around after closing the door behind him, seeing his dad storming into the room. "I just got a call from your coach." he spat out, his eyes full of rage. 

"Dad, please, I can explain." Phil stepped back out of fear but his back met the door. 

"You quit, after one day?! ONE DAY?!" his dad yelled. "That might be the weakest thing I've ever heard."

Phil's eyes filled with tears, knowing what would come next. "Dad please." he whimpered. His dad walked over taking big steps. He grabbed Phil by the arm dragging him through the house. Phil tried to get loose of the hold. "Dad stop, please don't." 

"How many times do I have to man you up Phil?!" there was no talking his dad out of this. His eyes were filled with rage. They arrived at the staircase and his dad threw him against them. Phil landed face down, his chest aching at the impact. "You can't just quit real life Phil, that's not how it works." 

Phil cried into the soft fabric on the stairs, his shoulders shaking. His dad started to unbuckle his belt. "Take off your shirt Phil." "Please, no." Phil pleaded. His dad folded his belt, like a whip. "Take it off."