Ionic Love

Chapter 20

"I would love to. Pero baka naman makaabala na ako no'n sa trabaho mo?" I said, unsure of myself.

He smiled shyly.

"Of course, not. Ikaw pa," sabi nito sabay pabirong kindat sa akin.

"And may mga pagkakataon naman na magtatravel ako, mainly because I want new subjects for my shots. Not for job purposes. Nagtatravel ako just to find some good spots that I can take pictures. Syempre those were the times when I'm not busy," natatawang dagdag nito. Hindi ko na tuloy, natuloy ang gusto kong sabihin.

Tumango- tango na lang ako.

"Sige. You tell me when you're not that busy so I can clear my sched for that particular time. Between you and me kasi mukhang ako yung kayang mag- adjust ng schedule para sa biglaang lakad. Besides, ako yung nakikisabit lang," sabi ko naman sa kanya.

After that topic, we decided to finally finish our meal. While finishing my food, my mind is in turmoil. Nag- iisip ako kung paano ko sasabihin sa kanya. I don't know if I'm being assuming or what pero may kakaiba talaga kay Matti lalo na nowadays.  I don't understand. He's being too sweet? Lagi syang nangungumusta through text since ilang araw syang nawala. I don't know. Baka naman kasi gano'n lang sya. Well, ganoon naman sya noon pa. Siguro ako lang talaga yung may problema. Hindi na ako sanay so I tend to overthink his actions.

"Uh, Sandy..." Tawag ng kasama matapos ang ilang sandaling katahimikan. Sakto namang patapos na akong kumain. Saglit muna akong uminom ng tubig bago sya binalingan.

"Yes?"

I look at him straight into his eyes. I saw hesitation in them, which disappeared right away. He started fidgetting with his fork. He then became nervous and uncomfortable on his seat.

"Ano 'yon?" I asked again. Nagsisimula ng maintriga sa gusto nyang sabihin. Then, I realized that we're done with the light topics. The mood in the table turned 360 degree.

"I didn't got the chance to tell you this but I'm really happy that you come back here and we met. Atleast I got in touch with you again," sabi nya habang ang atensyon ay nasa mesa.

"Well, I'm happy, too," sagot ko sa mahinang boses. Hindi malaman ang iba pang isasagot kaya tensyunado akong uminom muna uli ng tubig. Pagkabalik ko ng tingin kay Matti, nasa akin na ang mga mata nya.

"And I've been wanting to tell you this since day one pero hindi ko masabi- sabi, either because I have no chance or naduduwag ako," seryoso nyang dagdag.

I gripped my shoulder bag. Gusto kong putulin ang titigan pero hindi ko magawa.

"Sandy, I like you."

Napakurap- kurap ako. I don't know what to feel. Ramdam ko na na may ganitong klase ng bagay syang ipagtatapat sa akin noon pa lang na nagtext sya pero ngayong sinabi nya na ng personal, hindi ko na alam. I've planned to clear things with him, but right now I really don't know what to say.

Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago nagsalita.

"Matti, you know what," panimula ko. Kailangan ko nang linawin sa kanya na I'm not ready for a romantic relationship– or shall I say my heart is not available for that.

Magdudugtong na sana ako nang sasabihin, pero sa di malamang dahilan ay napatingin ako sa pinto ng restaurant. Then, there I saw Xenon entering with a girl I can't recognized. Halos malaglag ang panga ko sa nakita. The girl's wearing a short red dress which in my opinion is very inappropriate. It's tanghaling tapat, for everyone's sake! Lumipat kay Xenon ang tingin ko. He js still wearing the same clothes. Pain came gushing when I saw the girl happily tucked his hands along Xenon's arms. Lumipat muli sa lalaki ang tingin ko, galit ang sunod na naramdaman nang makitang parang wala lang sa kanya ang ginawa ng kasama. He didn't even stop her! Or even remove it!