Millions [Poetry]

mistaken invitation paint

mistaken invitation paint

september2twenty18

as we verge onto waves of new electric, I take a moment to reflect.

the static sounds are not the same as they used to be last year. and though I long for them to be, things won't go my way, not here. same songs with addition locked on repeat - different feelings stick my head staring at my feet.

and yellow doesn't taste the same way as it used to. it's encompassing me, it's all that I can see. yellow never was yours, you were always true blue. but colors seem futile when blurry puddles of mixed up colors are all life can be.

maybe we could rewind, but maybe it'd be a bad idea. I'm still stuck thinking that maybe you'll want to get out of here. but the sparks once heavy have been clamped down.

I don't know, it's my head, I've been running circles round for months.

ten months, actually, almost eleven. almost a year lacking a complete sense of direction. I dread up the days and cover them with sand. not all plants grow in sand. some plants do.

oh well.

and maybe that yellow invited her in. because I'm sick of being alone. because I've had stupid fantasies in my head for too damn long.

but I'm still drowing - colorless - no color can describe this.