Just random things

Why Won't They Just Go Away?

I haven't talked about these people in a while, but I need to vent and it's 4 AM right now so this is the only way to do that.

Every now and then something new will come up with N and L. If you need a little refresher as to who they are, they are the main antagonists in the other book "LGBTQ+ Issues. Fun." They're the ones who had so called issues with me, and the rest of our close friend group.

I woke up at 3:30 this morning from a nightmare about them...

I was doing something on my phone, when they both called me at the same time. The contact names were flashing back and forth. N to l to n to l... until the calls simultaneously rang out. I then got notifications of texts from them. "Call me back!" "Come on, just call back" "is it really this hard to call back?" "You should've called back by now" and others. I was crying, I was scared.

I started to panic. I couldn't breathe, my vision blurred, I felt... a feeling of fear mixed with anxiety with a dash of hatred.

My head fell backwards onto the pillow as everything went black...

I woke up crying, sweating, shaking. I tried to go back to sleep, but now every time I close my eyes the dream - no, nightmare - continues. I'm already shaken up enough. I don't need them in my life...

And yet in the half hour that followed the dream, I contemplated reaching out to them...

Why won't they just go away?