Just random things

Lofe sucks

I had three anxiety attacks and a breakdown today:

The big one: this morning in the hallways my friend kept hugging me from behind and 1) I'm jumpy 2) my ex used to do that a LOT and my brain still registers that feeling as her and after a few behind hugs I got pushed over the edge into an attack

Two minor ones: one at lunch, the reason of which has slipped my mind and one at the beginning of PE after lunch when I just got really frustrated but I won't go too much into it

And then the breakdown which I'm not gonna go into either, but it was pretty bad

I've finally opened up to my mom about my anxiety and possible depression(as I've come to realize) and after my breakdown I had such a good opportunity to ask her about seeing a therapist and I missed it and now I'm just beating myself up for it. I've been wanting to ask her for weeks now and I just can't get the words out. Not only with my mental health. I want to come out to her but I just can't bring myself to say the words