Just random things

Coming out (again)

So um. I didn't think I would actually post something like this at any point in time, but here I am. Coming out. Again.

Around March of 2018 I started realizing I liked girls, but I still thought I liked boys, since I was so boy crazy growing up. I came out as bisexual the following month.

Since I wanna say maybe September or October, I've been thinking "do I really see myself even being with a guy?" I thought about this constantly, battling it out in my head. And it's recently dawned on me that, no. I don't.

Those feelings were pretty much confirmed when I realized that I felt more love and fondness in the few weeks I was with my ex girlfriend, than I ever did in over a year with my ex boyfriend.

But it took so long since then for me to accept that. But since I have, the question of whether or not and when to come out as been eating away at me. I've only come out to one person in my life, but even that took a lot of effort. Most of my fears were confirming that my bisexuality really was a phase for me, which is something I was told when I first came out, and it made that whole experience sort of negative for me, and to have that be proven true... it just hurts. But at this point, I'm tired of driving myself crazy, not getting sleep, and keeping myself hidden away in Narnia. Im tired of that douchebag at my school calling me a "bicycle". I'm tired of calling myself something I'm not.

I'm a lesbian. I like girls. I don't like boys.

For those of you I know in real life, sorry you have to find out here, but this is a lot easier for me than saying it to your faces. Please don't hate me. I love you all.

🏳️‍🌈