The Definition of Fate

Chapter 34

I missed you for too long,
in too many ways,
that it became just another part of me;

engraved deeper into my heart with the passing of time.
I would wake up,
stretch,
breathe,
and miss you.
hey told me to let it go,
to let you go,
and I would say:
you cannot simply will your heart to stop beating,
that no matter how long you hold your breath for,

you cannot hold it forever,
and I could only stop missing you,
if I stopped being myself entirely.
- Ernest Hemingway

For once in my life, I walk into work on Monday feeling like I can conquer the world. I let the time with friends over the weekend refresh me and now I'm actually ready to face Halle, Quentin, Mr. Fitzpatrick, and the rest of my delightful coworkers. I smile as I walk in and greet Alaina.

"Good morning, Miss Evans! You're in a good mood this morning," the girl says, returning my smile with one of her own.

"Yes, I am," I answer, marching past her to my cubicle.

Whatever crap Halle throws at me today, I'm ready to conquer it. I will spin gold out of straw if I have to.

Quentin lounges against the partition between our cubicles and watches me as I set down my bag and log into my computer. "Morning, Evans."

"Morning," I answer, refusing to let him dampen my mood.
"What has you on cloud nine?" Quentin asks, leaning on his elbow and smirking at me.

"Believe it or not, what I do outside of work is none of your business," I retort.

"Dang, Evans. I see how it is; we go on one date and you can't even look me in the eye now."

I stand up and face him, staring him straight in the eye. He falters and takes a step away from the partition. "Yeah, one date, yet the entire office seems to think we had some sort of affair. I wonder how that happened?"
Quentin throws his hands in the air and slinks back into his seat. "Gosh, sorry, Evans."

I grin triumphantly as I return to my computer. Maybe I've finally convinced Quentin to leave me alone even if it's just for one day. I open Halle's e-mail and start to work on my two articles for the day, thankful I won't have to go out and do any interviews.

I channel my extra energy from the weekend into my work and by 4:00, I'm editing the second article and ready to go home for the day. I ate lunch while I worked, but at least I ate it, and I aim to leave on time today. No more killing myself over a job that makes me feel like crap.

"Miss Evans?"

I look up to find Alaina's round blue eyes watching me; there's no smile on my face and that makes me nervous. "What?"

"Mr. Fitzpatrick would like to see you."

I rise from my chair and follow her mechanically. No, no, no. I haven't met with him in over a month, so I have to assume this isn't good. Did Halle throw me under the bus? Has he read my articles? What did I do wrong? Tension races through me and I feel my chest constrict.

Alaina opens the door to Mr. Fitzpatrick's office and ushers me in, my knuckles white from clutching the notebook in his hand. Mr. Fitzpatrick waits for me in his seat, fingers drumming on the dark wood of his desk.

"Rachel, hello. Please come in and have a seat. Alaina, shut the door behind you and have a wonderful night."

The secretary nods and skitters out of the room, leaving us alone. The door slams behind her, and I stare at Mr. Fitzpatrick as he removes his glasses and runs a hand over his tanned face, a few wrinkles starting to show on his forehead and between his eyes.