The Definition of Fate

Chapter 7

There is a stirring in my soul; a restless, wild anticipation.
I am staring out into the horizon as far as I can
I can't see what's beyond it--but I can feel it.
- Lang Leav

My mind whirls at the prospect of leaving the life I've lived for the past four years, my family, friends, job. The thought of starting over without any of the baggage I've been lugging behind me is intoxicating. I've tried to map out every step of my life, but it somehow still led me back to my hometown despite my best laid plans. A flurry of emotions surrounds me, but Chloe's suggestion remains. Maybe I do need a second chance.

"Are you serious?"

It sounds too good to be true, and my hopes soar. I could leave Tina and my demanding, underpaying job behind. I could move away from Emmalee and Mom and learn to be my own person again, not the shell of a human being I've become. I could leave the memories here in my hometown and try to start over.

"One hundred percent. I just--well, I miss you, and it's a good opportunity. At least think about it," Chloe says.

"I...I'll think about it. For sure." A smile takes over my face. "Thank you, Chlo. This is...you're an amazing friend. Thank you."

"Anything for you, Rachel. Let me know."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you too."

I end the call and heave a sigh, my mind skittering through the possibilities. I'm already discontent with my job. I'm only a staff writer, but I do the work of three people with no appreciation or compensation. Tina is horrible to work for, demanding, and vindictive, and I hate going into work every morning. At this point, she's taken the joy out of a job I used to love. Maybe starting somewhere new could resurrect that passion.

Plus, as much as I love my family and Emmalee, I often feel suffocated by their constant presence in my life. I don't have the room to breathe, and I've let it stifle me and keep me from going anywhere outside of the comfort zone I've built for myself. Now one piece of my comfort zone is gone and maybe it's time to dismantle the entire safety net.

The decision is made and I'm not going to second guess and overthink like I usually do. I jump up from the curb, get in the car, and drive to Thornwald Park, the only place left where I can really be alone. I have to think through everything. Am I crazy to consider uprooting my life? What kind of life even is it? Is there something better for me out there, outside of my hometown? I know the answer. I need a restart, a refresh on life.

Holy crap. I'm really doing this. God bless Chloe.

~~~~~

A few days later, I show up at my parents' front door. I already made reparations with Mom for running out on our conversation about Aaron, but I have yet to relay my biggest news. The broad oak front door swings shut behind me as I enter and find my parents sitting in the living room with Tommy playing XBox. Dad lowers his newspaper when he sees me and props his reading glasses on his forehead.

"Rachel? What are you doing here?" he asks, smiling at me.

Mom turns around from where she dusts the mantle with a rag. "Rachel."

"Mom, Dad, I've decided something."

My heart hammers in my chest and my courage fades as I consider leaving the two people who have been constants in my tumultuous life. Am I making a huge mistake? What the heck am I doing? Dad smiles at me again, prompting me on.

"I'm moving to Columbus," I blurt out, my words filling the room with their potency.

My declaration shocks everyone, including me. Mom laughs and looks at my dad as if he's going to tell her that we're playing a prank on her. He just stares at me, his mouth hanging agape and the newspaper forgotten in his lap.