The Definition of Fate

Chapter 54

Oh my love,
The world is still hoping
You will say yes
To healing stories.
That you will
Risk fractures and broken things
For the delight of scars

& walking the path of the brave

- Jen Brady

I drop the two hundred page manuscript into my lap and suck in a deep breath. I had no idea. I knew Chloe had a hard life and experienced a lot before we met. She even told me fragments of her story, but I never realized how much she'd been through.

Since I've had nothing do since Christmas but recover and worry about my life choices, I printed out Chloe's book and started reading. The first step to reconciling with her was to read her life story, recorded on these pages. I planned on reading the first few chapters this morning, but the memoir pulled me in, drawing on every emotion and tugging me along until I couldn't put it down. I read about her childhood and how she ran away. I read about her freelancing years that lead to her college scholarship. I read about our years at college, through Chloe's lens instead of my own. And I read about the years between graduation and now, a time when I thought I knew what was going on in her life.

I was so wrong, and reading her story explains why she's been so hard on me for the past few months.

I climb out of my bed and pull on my slippers--I need to talk to Chloe. My feet pad down the hallway as I approach her bedroom, heart ricocheting in my chest. I've been a terrible friend.

"Chloe?" I whisper, wracking my fingers on her closed door. It's almost ten o'clock at night, but I'm hoping she's still awake so we can talk.

I hear the thud of her feet against the carpet and the door swings open. Chloe crosses her arms and stares at me in surprise--while there's no longer tangible animosity between us since I passed out, we're still not on good terms.

"What?"
"Can we talk?" I lift up her manuscript, holding it tightly in both hands, and show it to her.

She seems to thaw at the gesture, shoulders sagging and mouth opening. "You read it?"

I nod and swallow a lump in my throat. "Can we talk? Please?"
Speechless, Chloe opens the door and steps back to allow me to enter. I stand in front of her, holding the stack of paper in front of me like a peace offering. What can I say that makes things right between us?

"Chlo, I'm so sorry," I say, tears falling from my eyes as soon as I start to speak. "I...I had no idea."

Chloe crosses her arms over her chest and juts her chin in the air, but I can see emotion welling in her dark eyes. "I don't want pity, Rachel."

"It's not pity, I...I didn't read your book until now, or I would have known. I would have understood why..."
Chloe leans against her twin bed and chews on her lip. "Why you should have listened to me when I told you to go to the doctor? I was right."

"I know you were, but I was frustrated because everyone was treating me like an invalid. I thought you were just, I don't know, being motherly or something, but you weren't."

"Rachel, we don't have to talk about--"

"Why didn't you tell me?" I exclaim, stepping closer to Chloe so we're only a few feet apart. "I would have...I would have been there for you, but you didn't tell me. I had no idea."

"Like you were there for me with my book? That I gave you months ago?"

"Chlo, you know I haven't been...right for the past few months. But we're...I thought we were the sort of friends that shared with each other."