The Arrangement | Completed | Wattys2020

34

I snuck out of the house the morning after Matty's confession of wanting to fix things. I snuck out of the room while Matty was asleep and quickly packed our bags, and left before he could wake up. He sent me text after text, asking where I was at and why I left like that. I didn't have the heart to answer him. He deserves an answer, but I just can't give him one. Not right now, at least.

Almost two weeks have passed since the entire ordeal. Two week since I have seen my dad. I know it hasn't been long, but it feels like so much longer.

The funeral went by quickly. Well, the memorial. An open casket clearly wasn't an option in his case, and I didn't even really want the body at the service at all. I had him cremated and put in an urn that matched my mother's. I guess I should be thankful that they are with eachother again. Very few people who arrived gave their condolences. There were only enough people to fill one of the church pews. That's only if we all sat side by side. Thankfully, everyone knew better than to sit directly next to me or Phoebe.

I invited a few people to the funeral. My father's closest family and friends, although he didn't have too many of either one. I invited Steph, Matty, and Kristian. Those were the only ones who knew my father, or who might have remotely given a fuck. Steph showed up, of course. She's always disliked my father, but she would never say anything during this time. Kristian made an appearance as well. Steph had to literally bite her tongue to avoid saying anything she would regret. He pretty much had to do the same. Despite whatever relationship Kristian and I might have, Steph and Kristian will never get along.

Matty didn't show up. I can't really blame him, though. My father and Matty were most definitely not each other's biggest fans. Matty took insult after insult from him, even if all of them weren't said directly to his face. The sad thing is, I know that if the two had met at a different time, they would have really liked each other.

Things weren't always bad with my dad. He used to be funny and charming and caring. He used to carry me on his shoulders through the farmer's market and take me to work with him when I felt sick and didn't want to stay home. He used to make sandwiches into small triangles and stick a toothpick in each one for me and my friends when I had sleepovers. I used to watch him dance in the kitchen with my mom while they listened to old country music. We were honestly a happy family. I miss that part of my life.

I don't even have any family now. Phoebe is all I have. I am all she has. We only have each other. And honestly, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do.

Thankfully, my dad has the house paid off, so I don't have to pay anything other than our utilities. I have been doing that for the last two years, so nothing will change there.He had some money in life insurance and retirement, so we get all of that. It's enough to keep us alive and keep the lights turned on, but it won't last forever. He might not have paid our utilities or contributed to keeping food on the table the last few years, but he did make sure to keep my mom's medical bills paid. Seeing the balance due made me fucking sick. Out of all the times that I blamed him of not putting his money to anything, I totally disregarded the amount of money he was still paying towards her medical expensives. I should have given him more credit. He really did deserve it. I'll have to find a steady job so I can keep food on the table and clothes on our backs. I don't even know if I'll have time for school anymore. I want to cry. I want to breakdown and cry right here, but I can't even find it in myself to do that. I have to stay strong for Phoebe.

But who is going to stay strong for me?

We were leaving the church when I hear him call my name.

"Candace!" I turned around to see Kristian jogging towards us. Phoebe gripped my hand softly, and I smiled down at her to the best of my ability. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He said, out of breath and staring at me with sad eyes.

"Thank you, Kristian." I smile at him.

"Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, I think so." I assure him. I have to be.

"If you need anything, you'll let me know. Right? I mean it, Candace. If you need anything I want you to let me know. I will help in any way I can."

"Thanks, Kristian." I said again.

"Just because we're broken up and disagree most of the time, doesn't mean I don't care about you. You will always be my bestfriend. Remember that, Candy. You're so strong. So damn strong." He says softly. I smile a genuine smile for the first time in days. Although it may be small, it's genuine. And that is a baby step I'm okay with taking.

"I know. Thank you. I mean it. I'll stay in touch." I assure him before turning and going back towards my car.

"Candace?" I hear behind me once again, but this time it was a different voice.

Matty is behind me, dressed in all black. His glasses sat on the bridge of his nose like they always did, and his hair was styled the way it always was. I could see his bright green eyes through the frames and my heart broke. Those eyes that held so much love and so many memories in such a short amount of time broke my heart. I'm sure Haley fell for those eyes, too.

"Matty!" Phoebe yells, letting go of my hand and running over to Matty. Matty kneels down and hugs her tightly, whispering something in her ear that I can't hear. She nods her head at whatever he said and hugs him tighter. His eyes screw shut as he hugs her and kisses the side of her head, burying his own face into her shoulder. When they release one another, he walks over to me, with her holding his hand.

I'm speechless when he comes over to me. I don't know what to say, and I don't think I have it in me to try and start a conversation. This is awkward. It's actually really fucking awkward. I haven't seen him or talked to him since that night in his bedroom. The only other exchange was a stiff email with the memorial service information. To which, he did not reply. 

"I'm...I'm sorry I didn't come earlier. I just thought that maybe you.."

"It's fine." I said, trying my best to stay strong.

"Candace..."

"It's not a big deal." I assure him with a smile. This smile was probably the biggest one I gave all morning. It was also the fakest.

"Yes, it is. I completely understand if you're mad. I deserve it." He replies, giving me a look of concern.

"Matty, it's fine. It's not your job to attend something like this. You didn't even know him. It would have been awkward anyways. It's fine, I promise." I say.

"Can Matty come to the lunch?" Phoebe asks me, not even attempting to hide her words from the ears of the person she's asking about.

"I'm sure Matty has a pretty busy day ahead of him. He works a lot, remember?"

"I don't have any plans. I mean...if you're okay with it, that is. I would love to join you guys?" He interrupts me, looking at me with hope.

When I look back down to Phoebe, she is staring up at me with pleading eyes.

"Yeah, okay. That's fine. He can come." I assure her, earning a large smile.

Despite the fact that it kills me to have Matty this close to me right now, I will do this for her. If having Matty around for lunch is what will keep her happy, then I can sit through an awkward meal. I owe her this much. She deserves to be happy, even if im not. 

"Can we get pizza?" She asks.

"Ask Matty if he is okay with getting pizza. He has a special diet, remember?" I remind her. She doesn't quite understand the concept of being a vegetarian, so we just say that Matty is a picky eater. 

"Pizza is fine with me if that's what you want, love." Matty tells her, earning a big smile from Phoebe.

We walk to my car in silence for the most part as I mentally prepare myself for what will be the most awkward lunch date in history.