The Arrangement | Completed | Wattys2020

73

"What the fuck is this?" He asks, handing me a folder. I open it and look at the first page.

Seeking Arrangements.

I feel my heart drop to the lowest part of my stomach. This isn't happening. This wasn't how he is supposed to find out. He isn't supposed to find out. Not right now. Not like this. Please, don't let this be happening right now.

"Matty, please listen to me." I beg.

"Listen to you? What the fuck do you have to say? I have been with you for months now. I have been in a fucking relationship with a girl who has been getting paid to date me. Even worse, you've been getting paid by my DAD. Do you know how the fuck that makes me feel? I don't want to listen to one thing you have to say." He spits out.

"I know, Matty. I know you're upset. I know this was shitty. I was in a bad spot. I had to be able to support Pheobe. You know that. You know I never wanted to hurt you." I cry, all tears falling. I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want him to find out. I stopped the payments from Daniel. I stopped them. I love Matty. I love Matty so fucking much that it hurts. I can't believe I did this. I can't believe I did this to him.

"Actually, no. I don't know that. It's one thing to get paid for this kind of shit. But you....you have been fucking with my heart and my feelings this entire time. This is my fucking life, Candace. This isn't some fucking job for you. This is my fucking life! I am a human being with real feelings and emotions, and you think that you can just shit on all of that and that it will be fine! It isn't fucking fine, Candace! You want to know what? Haley cheating on me was literally a joke compared to how this feels. Hell, maybe it wouldn't have been a bad idea to take her back! Maybe I should have just done it with..." He stops himself from finishing the sentence, and for that I am thankful. He doesn't mean that. He doesn't mean this. He is just mad. He has ever right to be mad. I am fucking mad at myself, so he can be as mad as he wants to be. "Maybe the bad idea was trusting my heart and staying with you instead. This is fucking bullshit." He yells, walking away from me.

His words cut through me like a knife. This was the kind of hurt that you feel in your heart. My heart aches, and it's all my fault. I hurt him. I hurt him more than his shitty ex-girlfriend.
Now, I'm the shitty ex girlfriend. 

"Matty! Please don't just walk out on me. You promised me you would never give up on me." I cried, my voice going quiet towards the end.

"You promised you wouldn't hurt me! You promised you wouldn't lie to me! You told me you loved me. I told you I loved you. I told you I fucking loved you, Candace. Does this mean anything to you? When was the last time you got paid?" He yelled.

"I do love you, Matty, I promise I-" I started before getting cut off.

"When was the last time you got fucking paid?" He yelled.

"Daniel paid me a few weeks ago." I said in shame. "But I cut it off! I don't want it, Matty! He's helping me out with my schooling, but that's it! I swear, that's it!"

"Fuck you, Candace. Fuck you." He spits out. He's pointing a finger in my face with the words he throws at me, and it feels ten times worse this way.

"I told him that I was done with the payments, Matty. I told him I was done getting paid for anything. I told him that all I wanted was to be with you. I don't need the money, Matty. All I need is you."

He didn't even reply to what I was saying. He began walking out the door, slamming it behind him. I quickly ran out after him, not caring that I had no shoes on.