The Arrangement | Completed | Wattys2020

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Matty's POV

By the time Thanksgiving rolls around, I feel shittier than before. Not only is this dinner going to be as awkward as awkward can get, but I don't even really have the motivation to show up. I have been successful in dodging all of my parents texts. My dad keeps asking me to come by the house so we can talk, and my mom keeps asking me why I haven't seen her in weeks.

That's because I just don't fucking want to.

I just want to be alone. Sometimes, I crave a solitary life. Well, right now I live a pretty solitary life. The only times I get out anymore is if Frailey and Megan want to come over or if they force me out of the house. It's pathetic, really. But even as pathetic as it is, I also need it. I need it more than I thought I did.

Two weeks. It has been two weeks since our breakup.

Two weeks seems like such a fucking long time. Right now, it feels like an eternity. I feel like I always feel this way. This sense of loneliness and hopelessness is sometimes overwhelming. But, I also like feeling this way. In a weird, fucked up way- I like feeling this fucking miserable. I can't explain it. I just kind of...like it. It's almost as if it's a reminder that all of this happened. My tears, my anxiety, my complete and utter depression is a reminder that what I was once feeling before actually existed. My mind didn't just make it all up. We have a few pictures together, sure. We never had enough for me to look over, though. 

Okay, that's a lie. I have a ton of pictures of both Candace and Phoebe. I loved taking pictures of them. I loved seeing them and thinking back to that moment in time. Everything was so perfect. Everything was so...real.

In that moment, everything was real. Nothing was fake. I was completely oblivious to what she was thinking. I was completely and utterly fucking blind to the reality of what was happening every single day we were together. I was blind. Right now, I wish I remained that way.

Candace tries to text and call me every single day. I make no attempt in reaching out to her. I don't want to, and why would I? So she can reel me back in and attempt to fuck me over again? She's good at manipulation. She's really fucking good at it. She can make you believe one thing, but the reality of it all is completely different.  Candace lied to me for months. She allowed me to fall in love with her, and she did the same. Well, I thought she did.

She clearly didn't.

"You're coming to dinner tonight, right? "  My mother texts.

Am I coming to dinner? Fuck, I don't want to. I really don't want to. But, it's Thanksgiving. I don't really want to dodge them unless I have to. Well, I want to dodge my dad. I think in a way, I'll always be that way. But I don't want to push my mom away. She hasn't done anything wrong.

She's the only innocent one in all of this. She is always the innocent one, and seems to get the most backlash from everything. From my dad cheating, my sister leaving, and now this. She doesn't fucking deserve any of that.

"Yeah, I'll be there. About to head that way."  I reply. I groan to myself, not wanting to do so much as move a muscle right now.

When I finally get up and get around, I dread every second that I get closer to my parent's house. When I get there, I see a few cars in the driveway. I assumed it would only be the three of us, but clearly that isn't the case. Maybe having more people there will make this whole ordeal easier. I haven't seen my dad since I punched him, so the less awkward tension, the better.

"Matty! You're here!" My mom says before I even get out of my car all of the way.

"That, I am." I say, trying not to let my bad mood effect her good one. She brushes it off and continues greeting me.