The Arrangement | Completed | Wattys2020

41

"Maybe I should just go?" Kristian tells me the second Matty closes the door.

"No, no. It's fine. I just...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about that. Matty isn't usually like that." I tell him.

"Hey, it's fine. I would be pretty possessive too if me girlfriend was hanging out with her ex." He says.

"He's not my boyfriend." I mutter.

"Really? He isn't? Does he know that?" Kristian laughs.

"It's...we're complicated. Very complicated." I sigh.

"Relationships are as complicated as you make them."

"Yeah, well this one is....extremely complicated. It's just a long story."

"Well, I have time."

Instead of hiding what I have been doing, I tell Kristian everything. I tell him everything about what I have been doing, and about what Matty has been doing. I tell him about my feelings of guilt but also my feelings of frustration. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders the second I admit everything.

"Well, it's confirmed now. You are both fucked up. So fucked up. It's honestly best if you two never talk to one another again." Kristian says.

"You're telling me." I sigh.

"But, I know love when I see it. You guys love each other. Yeah, he might have been kind of possessive of you today, but he cares. He obviously loves you. You clearly love him, too. Otherwise, you wouldn't put up with any of the shit he's been doing."

"What if I don't love him, though? What if I only love the money I get by having him here?" I ask.

What if my feelings for Matty aren't as real as I think they are? What if everything is just as fake as I have been?

"Are you getting paid right now?"

"Well, no..."

"And you had sex with him today?" I don't answer his question. I only stare and wait for him to finish his point. "So you are sleeping with him, hanging out with him, and telling him that you're willing to work things out without the intention of getting paid for it. It isn't about the money anymore, Candy. It's about your feelings for him. He deserves to know, though. You can't keep a secret this big from him and expect everything to work itself out. You have to tell him the truth." He tells me. I hate that he is actually making sense right now.

"He's going to hate me, Kristian. What if he hates me for it? What if he never wants to see me again? What if-"

"Well, if he does...then he kind of has a reason to. But Candace, you can't go through life running away from your problems just because you're afraid of the outcome. You have to face your problems and learn from your mistakes." He says, giving me a sad and sympathetic smile

"I'll tell him. I don't know when, but I'm going to tell him soon. Okay?" I tell him. He raises an eyebrow, giving me that look that says he knows I won't do it. "I'm being serious!" I assure him.

"Whatever you say, Candace. I think you need to call him and tell him to come back over. I should probably get going." He tells me.

"No!" I say quickly, causing him to give me a look of surprise. "It's just...he needs to pack right now. I don't want him to come over just because he feels bad for me right now. If I tell him the truth, he won't even leave for Seattle." I sigh.

"The truth? As in that you're scared of being alone in this house?" Kristian asks.

"Yes."

"You need to give him the chance to be there for you, Candace."