Unpredictable (A Lashton Fanfic)

Chapter Forty-One - Replaced?

*Luke's POV*

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since I had last been alone with Ashton, and I can honestly say I was dying inside. He had been spending every day and every night for almost a month now with Gemma, not even bothering to call or send me a text message to say he missed or loved me, and even though part of me knew differently I couldn't help but think that maybe he had developed real feelings for her.

The last time I had visually seen him was yesterday at our concert, and he hadn't even looked in my direction or said a single word to me the whole four and a half hours we had been together. I tried to pretend like it didn't hurt, but it did. I had been so happy to see him after all this time being apart and I had believed that he would feel the same way, but yet he acted like I wasn't even there.

I felt so incomplete without Ashton beside me that every minute that passed without him here felt like another piece of my heart that was breaking. The dull ache in my chest that had started when management told us about the whole fake relationship thing hadn't gone away; if anything, it had gotten worse.

I had been laying here in my room all day, just staring up at the ceiling and not talking to anyone, and so when my phone started vibrating I was so surprised that it took me a moment to realize where the buzzing sound was coming from. As I pulled my phone out of my pocket I couldn't help but hope and keep my fingers crossed that maybe the message was from Ashton, but that hope soon faded when I looked at the screen. It was just another text from Shawn Mendes asking if we could talk--he felt the need to contact me almost every day now, and I couldn't understand why.

Now's not a good time, I typed into the slide-out keyboard. Maybe later. I hit send and put the phone away once more before lying back down on the bed.

I wasn't in the mood to focus on anything but I needed some sort of sound to fill the silence in the room, so I leaned over to grab the television remote. For some reason it had been left on an entertainment channel, and it was just my luck that the first couple that flashed on the screen was Gemma and Ashton.

They were walking down a crowded street, and their hands that weren't carrying shopping bags were intertwined. Gemma was talking animatedly about something, and Ashton was smiling up at her fondly. They both looked so happy and carefree that it made me feel almost physically sick--I had never seen Ashton that happy with anyone else but me--and that feeling grew when he leaned over and kissed her softly.

If we're being honest, I guess I should be happy for Ashton. When he's with Gemma he doesn't have to hide anything or worry about people criticizing them, and he can freely touch and kiss her whenever he wants. With me he always had to be on guard; if he showed any type of affection towards me when there were cameras around, we'd have to face serious consequences.

The one thing that I couldn't understand throughout all of this, though, is why Ashton lied to me. He said before all of this even happened that after wanting me for so long he wouldn't let anything or anyone come between us, but yet Gemma Styles had done just that.

I was so caught up, as usual, in my own thoughts that I didn't notice the door open and Calum walk in until he was right beside me. "I just wanted to make sure you were still alive since I haven't seen you all day."

"I'm still alive," I turned off the TV and repositioned myself so that I was facing him. "At least I think I am."

Calum was silent for a moment, as if he wasn't sure what to say next. "It's okay not to be okay, you know. If you ever want to cry on my shoulder you can. I'm here for you, alright? You've been going all distant on me and Michael both, and I don't know what I can do to help."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes at him. "I know, Calum, but I've been distant from everyone here lately. This whole deal with Ashton and Gemma is really getting to me, and to be honest there's nothing really you can do to help."

Calum looked away, a weird expression on his face. "Speaking of Ashton and Gemma, there's something you need to know." He took a deep breath, and I had the feeling that what he was going to say next, I wouldn't want to hear. "I've been debating on whether or not to tell you this, but Michael said it was better if you found out from me. So I talked to Ashton yesterday alone after the show, and I mentioned to him how upset you were over the fact that he hasn't made an effort to contact you since this whole relationship thing started."

"And?" I urged. "Go on, Cal. Tell me what he said."

"Well, before I tell you, just know that I'm almost certain that he didn't intend on this happening," Calum said carefully. "Anyway, Ashton said that he was starting to develop real feelings for Gemma, and that he barely even thought about you anymore when they were together."

I didn't say anything at first, simply because I wasn't sure I could. Part of me didn't believe what he was telling me, yet another part knew it was true, and had been all along.

I should've known this was going to happen. I should've known that after Ashton spent enough time with Gemma, no matter how hard he tried to tell me otherwise, that he wouldn't need to fake his attraction towards her because soon it would become reality. Soon he would realize that he was better off dating someone that he could be seen with when cameras were around and that the public eye approved of. I just had to accept it, and to come to terms with the fact that I was being replaced whether I liked it or not.

After a few moments I just decided to not say anything at all-if I did, I would start crying, and once I started I probably wouldn't stop for a while. Calum must have noticed this because he suddenly leaned over and put his arm around me. "Why don't you come out to the pool with me and Mikey for a while?"

"I don't feel like going anywhere with anyone," I muttered. "All I want to do is just stay in my room and be alone."

"That's no fun, though," Calum groaned. "You're coming outside whether you like it or not. It's not safe for you to be in a room by yourself in the emotional state you're in."

"You sound like a therapist," I laughed, smiling in spite of myself. Before I had the chance to say anything else I found myself being pulled off the bed and dragged outside, where I was almost pushed into an uncomfortable plastic chair next to a crystal clear swimming pool. The warm sunshine overhead was quite a change from the coldness of my hotel room, and I immediately took off my jacket and put on my sunglasses instead.

"See," Calum smiled. "Isn't this better than a lonely hotel room?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head although, as I sat there staring up at the palm trees and blue sky, I had to admit this was the first time all day I had actually felt anything close to happiness. I knew the feeling wouldn't last, but for right now, it was all I had left to keep me holding on.