Black Rose (completed)

chapter fourty four

Sarah's POV

The evening breeze blew softly, flushing through my hair, I closed my eyes for a while and let the winds wash over my face, I felt invincible and I prepared myself for my mission. What I'd planned to say I kept repeating in my head and I wished the words could explain how I really feel.
I looked out the window and looked at the people walking about on the streets, from the car I could see that some were engage in many different things, some talking on phone, others chatting, others standing by the way waiting for a taxi and others hawking their goods.
Everyone had a different expression on their faces, most of the people waiting for a taxi all seem tired and a lady looked like she would lashed out at someone anytime, her expression I guess it speaks of work stress. Others were walking cheerfully and some of the hawkers try to draw attention by singing. The cab driver opened the door and got in.

" sorry for the delay miss " he apologize

" its owk " I said
He had stopped to refill his tank and as he drove out of the filling station, I relaxed back in my seat and went back to my thoughts.
I held the hem of my jacket and pulled it closer to me,
When the taxi driver pulled in front of Sam's gate, I took a little too long before coming down, I was nervous. I paid the driver and clutched my purse to my body. I turn to look around, there was no one in sight, and I looked like a scared cat in a dark alley.
I turned towards the gate but before I could knock the gate was opened and Sam stood there, he looked cute in a bad boy way. He smiled at me and opened the gate wide so I could come in.
" how did you know I was here? I asked reluctant to go in.

" I've been sitting outside waiting since you told me you were coming, and when I heard the taxi I knew it was you. "

I opened my mouth to say something but then I paused and entered the house, he closed the gate and led me towards the house. I remembered the house as it was and noticed only a few things were changed and some parts were repainted.
When we got to the front door he paused and turn to look at me. " should we go to my room or would you prefer we stay in the sitting room?

" your room is fine " I said and then regretted immediately but I didn't want him thinking I was scared of him or something.

We went to his room and immediately I got in I noticed the room was completely changed, it was repainted and redecorated.

" you redecorated your room " I said

He smiled. " yes. I did it recently. Tell me, how is it?

" it's cool " I said but deep down I knew the former was better, the room now looked like a modern shrine.
I sat on the plaid sofa with heavy oak arms and he sat beside me.

" what can I offer you? He asked

" nothing I'm good "

" you said you wanted to talk " he said when I became quiet.

" yea. " I sniffed " I wanted to settle some things "

" ok I'm all ears "

" why did you choose to tell me about Alex when you saw I was becoming close to Steven? Did you do it because you were jealous?

" when I saw the danger I knew I had to tell you. Sarah don't you believe me?

" you can't blame me if I don't " I blurted out

" I know sarah, I know. But don't you think that hurts me seeing you look at me like I am a stranger, having to stay in class with you all day and not been able to talk to you. Sarah even when I opened the gate for you earlier you looked like you were scared of me. "

I looked away and didn't say anything

" I regretted the decision of breaking up with you from that day till now, but I knew I had to keep you safe."

" you should have told me, you shouldn't have decided for me "

" I know and I'm sorry, I know I wasn't the perfect boyfriend but I loved you so much that I couldn't risk it, I still do." He said and paused.
He turned to look at me but I still looked away.
" sarah " he began and I turned slowly to look at him.
He moved closer to me, he took my face in his hands and when he pressed his cold lips to mine I froze. I knew Sam was going to kiss me but I didn't know why I let him, maybe because I wanted to be sure of something, damn I knew I had to.
He kissed me and I felt nothing, the excitement I usually felt was gone and all I could think of was the time Steven kissed me, and the intence and extraordinary pleasure I had felt.
I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away gently.
He seemed shocked, so I picked up the courage before he could pull himself together and stood up from the sofa, he looked at me and I was certain about what I wanted to say.

" Sam I came to tell you that I don't believe Steven's feelings for me is fake, everyone has a dark past yes. We all have done something we are not proud of "

" then what about you, how do you feel?

" Sam I loved you so much that I did almost anything you ask of me, I started taking alcohol because I wanted to please you, I attended all those parties not because I wanted to, but because I wanted to be with you, I started sneaking out because of you, and I looked my parents in the eye and lied to them all so I could make you happy. I tried to be the perfect girlfriend, even gave you my dignity when I had promised my mum I'll wait till marriage. All these things I did because I loved you and because I thought you loved me too, but I wasn't enough, you had to cheat on me and mess it all up. You broke my heart! Do you have any idea how I felt when you broke up with me? I felt used, I felt betrayed.
You pushed me hard Sam, you pushed me right into the arms of someone else. "
I said with tears in my eyes.

" No  no no sarah, you can't tell me you have feelings for him " he shuttered

" of course I do, what I felt for you is gone. Its already too late for us."

" you can't............possibly.......tell me ........you're choosing that rapist over me! " he stammered.

" I'm sorry Sam but that's what I came to tell you " I said and quickly went out, he didn't make any attempt to stop me. He was too shooked too.