Iron Dad Oneshots (Under Editing)

Smell a Gay

Peter Parker was by no means able to have a normal day in his entire life. Today was no exception. He was sitting in his desk, a chair on the side of his desk, holding a super soldier. No, not Captain America. Peter would totally get beat up if he brought Cap to school. Everyone was sick and tired of his PSA videos. Bucky Barnes sat there, looking so lost at what the teacher was teaching. Believe it or not, it was history. That was until,

"So, now that that chapter is over, Anyone know anything about World War Two?" Bucky turned to Peter so fast that Peter was concerned that he had gotten whiplash. Peter grinned.

"Raise your hand," he basically snickered to Bucky. Bucky did just that, raising his metal hand. The teacher smiled and politely called on him.

"Mr. Barnes?" Bucky cleared his throat softly, obviously feeling the stares of the students.

"I uh, I fought in it with St- Captain America," he quickly corrected himself, figuring that the students didn't know that Steve was his name. The teacher seemed S H O O K.

S T O P I T              George: NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR     Jax: Wanna fucking fight bitch? (I love you)        George: LET'S GO BRO (I love you too honey)    Jax: ILL MEET U AND give you a nice big hug and flower cuz you're precious and I won't fite u

"Uh, wow, do you, do you wanna talk about your experience?" She asked. Bucky thought for a second before agreeing. He walked to the front and smiled at the group. He quickly tied his hair in a bun and looked at Peter, who was giving him a reassuring smile, Bucky smiled back.

"So, first of all, I didn't choose to go into the war. No one in their right mind would," Bucky chuckled, thinking about how Steve tried so hard to get in. Everyone was listening intensely.

"I was, uh, I was drafted at age 25. My buddy Steve, he didn't get drafted and was continuously trying to get in,"

"Steve Rogers? Like, Captain America?" one of the kids asked. Bucky choked on his D I C K spit and started coughing, his face red from embarrassment.

PUT IT BACK PUT IT BACK PUT IT BACK PUT IT B A C K  George: NO        Y E S PUT IT BACK. I'll do it myself :P

"Um... yes. I apologize I choked on my spit for a minute. Steve was very tiny, like VERY tiny. He was kind of adorable in a way even though I always had to be there to get him out of fights in alleys and patching him up when we got to our apartment. Eventually, I don't know how, but Steve got enlisted and became America's first super soldier while I was stuck in the 107th infantry in some laboratory being experimented on by some nazi scientists and then in walks in Steve, this now muscular man, at least a foot or 2 taller and he picks me up and saved my life." Bucky said with a smile on his face.

"Steve eventually recruited me to be a part of his squad, The Howling Commandos and it felt great to fight alongside my best friend, that small kid from Brooklyn, Captain America," he finished. MJ let out a loud, long sniff.

"I SMELL A GAY," she all but screamed. In a second, Bucky's face went strawberry red. Suddenly, the window smashed and a body slid in front of Bucky. It was Steve.

"bUcKy," he screamed. Bucky jumped, as did the entire class. Except for Peter, who was cackling. Tony busts through the wall.

"DoNt YoU jUsT hAtE iT wHeN yOu dROp uR mEaTLoAf IN tHe dOoR?" Then, he flew away.

"Steve, they know," Bucky informed. Steve looked around wildly.

" P E T E R," Steve accused. Peter quickly threw his hands up, shaking his head.

"Wasn't me Mr. Gaychikinnuggetyoyoman"," he said with a pan on his head

Mr. Gaychikinnuggetyoyoman just grabbed the sun, and hugged Bucky, both getting kidnapped by Deadpool on a unicorn. Peter jumped, kissing Deadpool and then becoming a corn plant.

Steeb looked into Bucky's blue coloured eyes and whispered "It's free real estate"

Steebv grabbed Bucky and they took Deadpool's unicorn, and Deadpool turned into a cotton plant.

"10/10" yelled eter to corn plant.

Flash became a woman, and started doing homework; which was the most surprising thing in the universe, it defeated Thanos.

Jax: Y I K E S this happened uhhhhhhhhhhhh yep

Ace: gAY

Jax: D U D E WHAT

ACe: gAYYyEss

Jax: Btw guys, Ace is our son :P

🅱️AcE: MmmMM cHIkIn

🅱️rAcE: loveme

Yoyoman: *God Has Left The Group Chat*

GAce: God is already here wdym

Jax: Okayyyyyyy

YAce: are you ever too gay for words

Jax: All the time

Yoyoman: *is actually GeoRGe*

Jax:  Y    E     S

G: ayy

Jaxaphone: :3

FAce: Im Batman.  Gayman

Jax: mkay, I think we're done...

GAYce:  kay gays

Yoyoman:...its free real estate

@SimplyAnxio (Ace)