Jordan Knight Snapshots (Mature)

Soldier Boy Part II

FUCK! Why had I not seen that before?

Not that I was paying super attention, but I did notice Jordan kept his left hand beneath the table on his knee, while he ate his meal and sipped his beer with his right. Most people I knew switched off or ate with one hand and drank with the other; least, that's how I did it.

Jordan had slipped up and placed his hand on the table to rap along to a Tupac hit playing over the system. He was completely oblivious as I tensely stared at the ring, feeling an emotion I didn't instantly recognize squeezing every muscle in my chest.

"Are you married Jordan?" I bluntly asked, trying in vain to disguise the irritation in my voice.

The color immediately drained from Jordan's face as he looked over at me with a dark expression. He didn't answer me right away; just stared at me with an odd look.

Panic seized through me like electricity. I'd definitely been with married men before so that wasn't a big deal but the thought of him being married bothered me for some reason. The thought of another woman waking up to him every morning. Feeling him inside of her every day. Kissing those full, suckable lips. Being embraced by those strong, broad arms. Hearing that voice in her dreams. I couldn't shake the jealousy that was coursing through me.

Brushing off those uncomfortable feelings, I expectantly looked at him, waiting on him to answer me.

"Widowed," he finally answered with a faraway look in his eyes. He couldn't conceal the pain that flitted in his dreamy dark eyes as he picked up his beer and swallowed the liquid in one loud gulp. He gritted his teeth and looked around the room at everything but me.

I slowly looked down at the table and somberly twisted my lips. "I'm sorry."

Jordan only nodded and drummed his fingers on the table. I couldn't stop looking at the ring. I wanted to ask more questions, but I didn't want to be too intrusive. I just played with my hands and stared down at the table.

"She died a year ago", he flatly replied. There wasn't an ounce of remorse or sadness in his tone. "Car crash."

I closed my eyes to that as my own memories of something horrible tiptoed through my mind. "I'm sorry." I couldn't think of anything else to say but that.

He indifferently shrugged and waved to the waitress for another beer. "It happens."

He was trying to be flippant, but I could tell by the look in his eyes he was still in a great deal of pain.

"How long were you married?"

We waited for the waitress to bring his beer over before answering me. "We got married before I shipped off."

I ran my fingers through my wild red hair and gnawed my lip. I was beginning to get uncomfortable. I wasn't very good with emotions.

"What about you?" he asked, curiously looking over at me. "Are you married?" He glanced down at my left hand, presumably looking for a ring.

I loudly sighed and drained the rest of my flat wine. "Divorced. We didn't last six months. Least you had three years."

"Sometimes quantity is not as good as quality."

I frowned and looked over at him. He was acting and talking weird for someone who had lost their wife in such a devastating way. His mouth was saying one thing but his eyes were showing something else. I felt there was more to the story and I was dying to know but I had to remind myself to take this evening for what it was and try not to get too close. Emotions complicated things.