COMPILATION OF SHORT STORIES AND FLASH FICTIONS

WEDDING RING

She loves me. I know that. Of all people, I'm the first person who knows how much she's capable of loving someone. But I don't know how much she'll hate a person, how long it takes to heal and forgive.

I'm staring at my ring, when out of nowhere, my wife walks down the stairs. Tumayo ako at naglakad papunta sa kanya.

"Kain na," pag-aya ko.

Tumigil siya sa paglalakad nang makarating ito sa dulo ng hagdan. She lifts her head and looks at me.

A blank stare. AGAIN.

Dati, kapag tinitingnan niya ako, puno iyon ng saya. But now, her mere stares makes me feel hurt.

Katahimikan. She just stares at me. Maybe, she's figuring out how to decline my offer. Since our five-year old son died, that was two months ago, she has been acting like this. And I understand why.

I sigh with my whole body. Bago pa man siya magsalita ng makakadagdag sa sakit na nararamdam ko, nagsalita na ako. "Kung papasok ka na sa opisina, ihahatid na kita. If you're not hungry, it's okay. Just gonna wrapped these and eat in your office. Wait me here."

"No need," she immediately refuses and walks pass by me. Sinundan ko siya papunta sa kusina.

"'Ma-"

"Gia.." she interrupts and turns to face me, "from now on, call me Gia."

Her words sting. Pati ba naman tawagan namin, gusto na niyang mawala? How could she says it like she didn't want me anymore?

Part of me wants to lash out and say something hurtful in return, but most of me knows she's only saying it because she's also hurting. Pero hanggang kailan kami magiging ganito?

"Huwag mo na ako ihatid. Kaya ko nang mag-isa," she adds that makes my chest hurts even more.

Gusto ko siyang sumbatan. Gusto kong sabihin na nasasaktan rin ako, na nawalan rin ako. Pero may magagawa ba ako? It's partly my fault, I know that. But I'm a father too, I lost my child too....and I'm also hurting.

Bago pa siya makaalis, hinatak ko siya palapit sa akin. Her eyes widened in shock.

I press my lips into her hair. Hindi agad siya nakagalaw. Hawak ko nga siya, pero parang hindi. Ang lapit nga namin sa isa't isa, pero ang layo niya. Hindi ko siya maabot.

I sigh when she didn't even reciprocate. Binitiwan ko siya at saka siya hinarap.

"Ingat ka, G..Gia," I barely say. Nakakapanibago. We usually call each other 'mahal'. I know it's cliché, but it makes us bonded. And now... I don't even know what other things that will connect us aside from papers.

Tumalikod na ako na parang wala lang ang pambabalewala niya. Pero nang makarating na ako sa kuwarto, napahawak ako sa aking dibdib. A tear escape from my eyes.

And another one.

And another.

I harshly wipe it with my palm. Damn, I shouldn't be crying, but the pain is too much.

---

It's been eleven months since that accident, and I'm barely breathing. I became a ghost for Gia. Parang 'di niya na ako nakikita.

She began to drink alcohol and barely goes home. Minsan, kung uuwi man, magpapalit lang ng damit tapos aalis na naman. Kung magtatanong ako, she just shrugs and nods.

Everyday, it feels like the inside walls of my chest are being torched as I try to keep my emotions from myself.

"Baby, galit ka rin ba kay Daddy? Galit ka ba kasi hindi kita nailigtas noong nabangga tayo?" tanong ko habang nakahawak sa lapida ng aming anak. Even it pains me to see my son's grave, I'm still here, visiting him. Kahit ngayon lang, ayaw kong manatili sa bahay.