A Series of Destiel One Shots

29 - Rebel

Rebel

(A/N: Hey look at me writing an authors note after I wrote the fanfiction. It feels wrong. Urg. This wasn't as angsty as I thought it was going to be. I haven't read it through yet so it might be angsty.)

Dean heard the ruffle of feathers behind him and turned around to see Cas was finally respecting his personal space. The first thing noticeable about the angel was the hurt expression on his face. Castiel looked kind of hollow. The last time Dean had seen him like this Cas had tried to kill him. Dean went to him,

"Cas, buddy, are you okay?" Dean motioned to put his hand on Castiel's shoulder but the angel flinched away from the hunters contact. Dean wasn't sure if he should be offended or worried. "Cas...is something going on?" he took a step back, not underestimating Castiel anymore.

"What am I doing, Dean?" he mumbled, it would have been barely audible if the room had not been totally silent.

"You tell me." Dean joked, trying to desperately alleviate the tension.

"I rebelled, I disobey heaven with every action and thought I have and yet its come to my attention that nothing is being given back." Castiel was now almost nose to nose with Dean, it was more intimidating than awkward.

"What do you want, Cas? Maybe if you told us we could give back." Castiel let the silence hang in the air for a while, "You never tell us what you want." Dean looked defiantly into Cas' eyes, refusing to budge, refusing to stand down.

"You don't want to know what I want." Cas breathed, aware that he didn't need to speak any louder because of the short distance between them.

"Dammit Cas, maybe if you told me then I could decide that for myself." Cas looked momentarily alarmed until he stepped away and turned his back to Dean. He paused for a moment before speaking again,

"I'm trying my hardest to not love you, Dean." Cas squeezed his eyes shut as he stated exactly how he felt. He really wished he didn't feel like that. "And I wish I could act upon it, I mean I've rebelled in every other way, but I just....can't." the angel heard a loud exhale from behind him causing him to turn around. Dean looked very open and...something Cas couldn't place.

"Well, that's a relief." Dean said to himself as he looked down at his worn out boots before looking up at Cas, "Oh my god, Cas, are you crying?" the angel looked even more alarmed and confused as he lifted a hand to his face and felt the moisture there.

"I am, Dean." he paused looking deathly scared, "This isn't right, I shouldn't be able to feel love and I shouldn't be able to cry."

"Don't worry too much about it." Dean said in a hushed tone as he closed the distance between himself and his angel.

(A/N: Eeeeeeeeeek!! My next one shot will be my 30th. I have a good idea for it. Thanks for reading this far!)